Love and logic are the Catholic response to MAiD, international pro-life apologist says

“The pro-life response to assisted suicide is not only the right response,” says pro-life apologist Stephanie Gray Connors. “It’s the beautiful and inspiring one.” 

Catholics needn’t be demoralized by the onslaught of Canada’s “extreme” euthanasia regime, because logical argument and compassionate action offer effective ways to counter the culture of death, Gray Connors told about 200 people at Our Lady of Assumption Church in Port Coquitlam. 

Gray Connors lives in Florida with her husband and two young children, but is from Chilliwack and attended St. John Brebeuf Regional Secondary. She has been a leading pro-life speaker, debater, and author for a quarter of a century and is back in the Vancouver area for the summer.

Gray Connors said a fundamental response to any pro-euthanasia argument should respond to the despair and fear that often underlie a death wish, reflecting a patient’s feeling that their suffering has no meaning.

As philosopher Viktor Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way,” Gray Connors said in an interview.

Her speech recounted stories of people who have gone through great suffering but found profound meaning in their situations. “Following the insight of Frankl has given me hope, and I wanted to share those stories to give others hope as well,” she said.

That hope starts with a foundation of prayer on which Catholics can build a structure of compassionate yet logical responses and actions, she told the audience. 

She offered a hypothetical example. If the law permits assisted suicide, why do we withhold such assistance when someone threatens to jump off a bridge?

“Either everyone gets suicide assistance, or no one does,” she said.

Individuals seeking euthanasia often cite their fear of pain, but most pain can be alleviated through treatment, Gray Connors said. “Shouldn’t we alleviate the pain rather than eliminate the person who is experiencing it?”

Someone who is hoping for death because of mental anguish can be offered responses that focus on repairing the broken relationships that are often at the root of their despair, she said.

Likewise, a response to euthanasia-seeking patients who say they don’t want to be a burden on others should be an offer “to lighten their burdens,” not to eliminate the individual who feels saddled with burdens. “Insert a new perspective,” she said.

Another common motivation for euthanasia is fear of a “bad death,” which is where better palliative care ought to be our response.

Finally, those seeking assisted death may do so out of a feeling of uselessness, which can be answered by celebrating the simple yet profound fact of their “being.”

“When someone feels useless, we need to help them find their value,” Gray Connors said.

She shared a video featuring a nursing home in which a daycare had been opened to illustrate how the sick and the elderly can find new hope and meaning by interacting with youngsters.

In another video, a man who lost both legs and one arm in an accident is shown to have found new meaning and hope by focusing not on what he lost but on the beauty of existence.

The man experienced a profound insight in the simple act of watching a snowball melt. “If we love such moments ferociously, then maybe we can learn to live well – not in spite of death, but because of it,” he said. “Let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.”

Father Larry Lynn, the Archdiocese’s pro-life chaplain, said he was buoyed by Gray Connors’ presentation. “Viktor Frankl’s work is incredibly important to the pro-life argument,” said Father Lynn, who is pastor of Our Lady of Lourdes in Coquitlam.

“When we discover the meaning of our suffering, we can name it and own it ... Christians know that our suffering is given meaning by Christ on the cross ... When we embrace this, our suffering has purpose, and we can withstand anything.”

He said Gray Connors’ presentation was a breath of fresh air, especially for those who are only beginning to understand the extent of the euthanasia problem in Canada. “Hope is the answer. We must never lose hope because hopelessness is the road to perdition.”

Gray Connors has travelled a difficult road in recent years, losing four children to miscarriage, but says her pro-life ministry is sustained by her faith.

“What keeps me going,” she told The B.C. Catholic, “is the conviction that it’s God’s will, that peoples’ lives are improved when they are taught a message that is good, true, and beautiful, and the belief that I have a responsibility to use the gifts God has given me to evangelize the culture.”

Those gifts – and the self-assurance they give her – were on heartwarming display during the question-and-answer portion of her presentation when her husband, Joe, brought her bawling three-month-old daughter, Molly, to the stage.

Without missing a beat, Gray Connors took and discreetly began breastfeeding her under a wrap.

“It’s the perfect pro-life moment,” said one smiling onlooker. “Just perfect.”

In August, Word on Fire Catholic Ministries will reissue an updated and retitled version of Stephanie Gray Connors’ 2021 self-published book on euthanasia, Start with What: 10 Principles for Thinking about Assisted Suicide. The B.C. Catholic’s review of the book can be read at bccatholic.ca/startwithwhat. 

Inspired by B.C. Catholic MAiD Edition

Stephanie Gray Connors’ presentation on euthanasia should inspire Catholics to do more to promote the culture of life, says the priest who opened his church to her.

Father James Hughes, pastor of Our Lady of the Assumption Parish in Port Coquitlam, said in an email interview with The B.C. Catholic that Gray Connors provided the audience, which included dozens of lifelong Catholic pro-life advocates, with helpful thoughts on how to listen and respond to the suffering in our culture.

“We can do more in our parishes to support palliative care, set up bereavement groups, connect to our elderly and shut-ins so that their isolation and suffering may be heard,” Father Hughes said. “It is not easy work, but it is life- and soul-saving.”

He said the approach of Pro-Life Sunday in June led him to ask his assistant pastor to start thinking of ways they could dedicate their Sunday homilies to a pro-life topic, specifically euthanasia.

“I was inspired by a whole issue of the B.C Catholic in early June that was dedicated to the topic,” he said. “I have never come across this before with regards to past B.C. Catholic editions. I found the articles thought-provoking and so we had some talking points on the topic.”

This, in turn, let to his invitation to Gray Connors, whom he has known since he was her spiritual director when she was in university.

“Stephanie gave an insightful and practical presentation of the topic that helps us appreciate the compassionate and logical side of the debate,” Father Hughes said.

Moreover, he said, she demonstrated that Catholics have work to do within their parishes and their communities.

“This topic,” he said, “only leads us to having more necessary conversations about a God who also suffered for us and ultimately loves each human being.”

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