“Hail Mary, full of grace, can I go to the bathroom?”
Sound familiar?
“Glory be to the Father, and to the Son ... Tom is messing with me!”
Does it sometimes seem like a colossal waste of time to attempt saying the Rosary with your children? Or maybe you’re getting actual resistance — eye-rolls, moans, and groans — when Rosary time is announced.
Our household has been at this family Rosary thing for more than 20 years now, with varying degrees of success. I can’t say we’ve been absolutely faithful to kneeling, or sitting down, as a family every single day to pray this beautiful prayer together, but we’ve tried over the years to give the Rosary pride of place in our home and to teach our kids its importance.
I’ve picked up a few tips and tricks along the way — from my own experience and from others — that have helped us get better at it over the years.
First of all, if the kids are really young, cut them (and yourself) some slack. Kids are kids, and some are better at sitting still than others. Having said that, it’s also important to teach children that there are times when it’s good and necessary to sit still, rest with God, and give him 15 minutes of our day.
It’s also a good idea to remind children that Mary is our heavenly mother and that she has asked us to pray the Rosary.
Do your best to set up an atmosphere of prayer and reverence in your home. Kids love candles. Have a Rosary candle (battery-operated if you’re worried about safety) that gets lit every night for family prayer. Some friends of ours who had 10 children would pass the candle to a different child for each mystery, allowing the child to announce the mystery and hold the candle for that decade — even leading the prayers if they were old enough. It gives the child something to focus on and look forward to during what can seem like a long time for them.
Speaking of focus, using images during the Rosary — especially for young children or anyone who’s a visual learner — can be very helpful. There are several Rosary books available that children can follow along with, most featuring beautiful depictions of the mysteries. There are also images available online that can be used as focal points; we’ve even projected them on the wall to help with meditation.
For older children who are pushing back against the Rosary — or just the “inconvenience” or “embarrassment” of family prayer — parents might want to talk with them outside of prayer time to get to the root of their discomfort.
If there are younger siblings, the older child may need to be told that their attitude influences the little ones. They may also need a reminder that prayer isn’t about a “feeling” but about giving priority to time with God — and that, in the grand scheme of a 24-hour day, 15 minutes isn’t much to ask.
Mom and Dad can also suggest to the reluctant child that he or she pray for the grace to love the Rosary — or at least not to dislike it. A child might also pick a saint who was especially devoted to the Rosary, such as St. Dominic or St. Louis de Montfort, and ask for that saint’s intercession to deepen their devotion.
Doing some research on the Rosary as a family might help bolster enthusiasm. A good starting point is History of the Rosary: Ever Ancient, Ever New at Dynamic Catholic, which gives an accessible background on the prayer.
Sometimes children get frustrated because they’re not “old enough” to do certain things. Well, praying the Rosary allows anyone of any age to “change the world.” Tell your kids about the children of Fatima or the story of the Battle of Lepanto, when the power of the Rosary changed the course of history and inspired the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary on Oct. 7.
If there’s anything I’ve learned over the years about family Rosary, it’s the necessity of flexibility and patience. We’ve even gone through phases when we’ve said the Rosary with all the kids in their beds — one parent in the girls’ room, one in the boys’ — with some kids (and maybe a dad) falling asleep before the final prayers. There’s something beautiful, and less stressful, about a child drifting off peacefully under the gaze of the Blessed Mother.
Our Lady desires our efforts, not our perfection. The Rosary should never be a source of angst in a family. Ask Mary to guide your family prayer time and to reveal what works best for you and your children.
Lazzuri writes from Nova Scotia, where she lives with her husband, three of their six children, and her mom. She can be reached at [email protected].
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