I’m not a mother, but I can see that for most of the women I know being a mother is one of the most fulfilling and meaningful things in their life. I know this is true for my Mom as she seeks out weekly phone calls and dinners with each of us and spends lots of time with her 12 grandchildren, playing with and teaching them.
Whenever she sees them, the first thing I hear her say is “I am so happy to see you” or “It’s so good to have you.” She spends hours preparing arts and crafts for them to work on or sewing projects for the older ones. She has pretty much created her own little atrium to teach the younger ones about Jesus, the Good Shepherd, the mysteries of the Rosary, and the Mass.
I remember when my oldest sister started having kids. Growing up, she wasn’t one to go around holding babies or ooing and awing over kids; but when she had children of her own, she talked about the love she felt for them and how having children expanded her heart and made her capable of a love she didn’t even realize was possible. She now has nine kids of her own, three of them in heaven.
A friend of mine who has seven children told me that with each child God stretches her heart further and teaches her new lessons of love, joy, and courage. As the children grow up, she can see some of her own traits in them, traits she can find challenging. By accepting and loving your children, you learn to receive God’s love and grace in new ways.
There is something about bearing children and rearing them that is deeply transformative in body and soul, and this transformation of the woman is also a great gift to her children and to the rest of society. I remember my Mom telling me that after she had become a mother, she would look at people on the street and think, “Wow, all of these people were given birth!” She remembered the pain of giving birth, but also the joy of having a baby and the love for this new life.
St. Edith Stein, a contemporary theologian and philosopher, wrote that “the unique contact that the mother has with the child developing in her womb gives rise to this attitude of acknowledging that human beings are to be loved and valued; and this attitude is not only towards her own child, but every human being – which profoundly marks her personality.”
There is something about having a baby that refocuses your entire life. There is much less time to be focused on self, and it is in this constant gift of self that the woman finds a freedom and joy. Those who lose themselves will find themselves.
As we talk about motherhood in the month of May, the mother par excellence and the model of all mothers comes to the forefront: Mary, the mother of Jesus, who is also our mother. Mary’s motherhood deeply marked her personality and identity. Being the mother of Jesus was her mission and what gave purpose and meaning to her life. On the cross, Jesus asked his mother to embrace as children all of those who were to be part of his mystical body.
I remember when I was about eight years old, Mom told me that the Virgin Mary loved me even more than she did. I felt a bit hurt at this since I didn’t think anyone could love me more than my own parents, but I know now that this is true. Mary’s love for us isn’t abstract and distant. She is a true mother with all the strength and passion of a mother’s love. And yet, there is no trace of selfishness in her affection and love for us.
Some of the most motherly words from Our Lady were those she spoke to Juan Diego in Mexico as Our Lady of Guadalupe. As you read the following words, I invite you to hear them as though they were being spoken to you:
“I wish that a temple be erected here, so I may therein exhibit and give all my love, compassion, help, and protection, because I am your merciful mother. To you, and to all the inhabitants on this land and all the rest who love me, invoke and confide in me; I will listen there to their lamentations, and remedy all their miseries, afflictions and sorrows.”
During this month dedicated to Mary, let us entrust to her all of our mothers and grandmothers, the women in our life and in our hearts. May we learn from her to prioritize our families and children, and embrace with love those who’ve been entrusted to our care.
During this time in which it may be hard to visit a church, let us dedicate a special space or little shrine of Our Lady in our homes where we can spend time with her and bring our concerns and petitions.
Mother Mary takes great joy in assisting us on our earthly journey, just as a mother feels joy when her children seek her out for help. During this time of pandemic, let us take to heart the words of Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego when he was dealing with the sickness of his uncle:
“Hear me and understand well, my little son, that nothing should frighten or grieve you. Let not your heart be disturbed. Do not fear that sickness, nor any other sickness or anguish. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything.”
Anna Loch is a parishioner at St. Joseph’s in Vancouver and outreach manager at Gardens of Gethsemani. She holds a master’s in theology and counselling psychology.