Pope Francis shared a beautiful defence of true love at a general audience this year.
“We have to defend love, the love of the heart, of the mind, of the body, pure love in the giving of oneself to the other... that beauty that makes us believe that building a story together is better than going in search of adventures... that cultivating tenderness is better than bowing to the demon of possession,” he said in January.
“True love does not possess, it gives itself. That serving is better than conquering. Because if there is no love, life is sad, it is sad loneliness.”
This makes the vice of lust particularly odious, for at least two reasons.
“First, because it destroys relationships between people... chastity is more than sexual abstinence – but rather, to be connected with the will never to possess the other,” he explained.
“But there is a second reason why lust is a dangerous vice. Among all human pleasures, sexuality has a powerful voice. It involves all the senses; it dwells both in the body and in the psyche, and this is very beautiful; but if it is not disciplined with patience, if it is not inscribed in a relationship and in a story where two individuals transform it into a loving dance, it turns into a chain that deprives human beings of freedom. Sexual pleasure, which is a gift from God, is undermined by pornography: satisfaction without relationship that can generate forms of addiction.”
Many saints have offered insights about chastity, purity, and lust. Father Joseph M. Esper, author of Saintly Solutions to Life’s Common Problems, wrote, “how, then, are we to cultivate, preserve, or reacquire the virtue of purity? First, we must specifically and regularly pray for this grace; without God’s help, we’ll almost certainly fall, for it’s almost impossible to avoid sexual temptations in our highly immoral society.”
Then, relying on insight from St. Teresa of Avila, he said, “it isn’t possible for a person who prays regularly to remain in serious sin; because the two are incompatible, one or the other will have to be given up. Thus, if we remain faithful to prayer, God’s grace will one day be victorious in us, even if we have many setbacks along the way.”
Next, wrote Father Esper, we must form good habits. “We must form the habit of immediately resisting lustful thoughts and temptations. St. Francis de Sales advises us: ‘be extremely prompt in turning away from all that leads and lures to impurity, for this evil works insensibly and, by small beginnings, progresses to great mischief. It is always easier to avoid than to cure this.’”
He continued with wisdom from St. Philip Neri, who warned against complacency and pride. “Humility is the safeguard of chastity. In the matter of purity, there is no greater danger than not fearing danger. When a person puts himself in an occasion [of sin], saying, ‘I shall not fall’ - it is an almost infallible sign that he will fall, and with great injury to his soul,” said the saint.
“In other words,” said Father Esper, “we must rely on God’s strength, not on our own.”
St. Alphonsus Liguori taught, “when such temptation comes, the person who does not have recourse to God is lost. Chastity is a virtue that we do not have strength to practice unless God gives it to us, and God does not give this strength except to someone who asks for it. But whoever prays for it will certainly obtain it.”
This saint suggested a simple Marian devotion for purity: “each morning and each night, when arising and when going to bed, say three Hail Marys prostrate on the ground, or at least kneeling, and to each Hail Mary add the short aspiration: ‘By thy pure and Immaculate Conception, O Mary, make my body pure and my soul holy.’”
According to St. John Vianney, these things are necessary for preserving purity: “the practice of the presence of God, prayer, and the sacraments; and again, the reading of holy books - this nourishes the soul.”
St. John Bosco said, “as soon as you become aware of temptation, busy yourself with something. Idleness and modesty can’t go together. In overcoming idleness, you will overcome temptations against purity.”
The website purityispossible.com offers helpful methods to train one’s mind to overcome sexual temptation and addiction.
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真愛是無私奉獻
教宗方濟各說，迷色這罪行尤其可惡，原因有二：「首先，因為它破壞了人與人之間的關係 … 貞潔不只是禁性欲，而是在意志上永不佔據對方… 但迷色之所以是危險的罪行，還有第二個原因。在所有人類的快感中，性有著強大的聲音。它涉及所有感官，既存在於身體中，也存在於心理上，這是非常美好；但如果沒有以耐心加以約束，如果沒有因兩個人刻骨銘心的愛建立的關係而發展的故事，它就會變成剝奪人類自由的枷鎖。性快感是天主的禮物，但卻被色情刊物所破壞：這種無愛的性行為會引發成癮。我們必須捍衛愛，身、心、靈的愛，純潔的愛將自己奉獻給對方 … 那種讓我們相信一起建立一個故事比追求冒險更好的美麗 … 那種讓我們相信培養溫柔比屈服於佔有的惡魔更好的美麗 — 真正的愛不佔有，是奉獻 — 那種讓我們相信服務比征服更好的美麗。因為如果沒有愛，生命是憂苦的，是孤獨的憂苦。」（2024年1月17日公開接見）
《聖人解決人生常見問題》(Saintly Solutions to Life's Common Problems)的作者Joseph M. Esper神父寫道：「那麼，我們應該如何培養、保持或重新獲得純潔的美德呢？首先，我們必須具體而經常地祈求這種恩寵；沒有天主的幫助，我們幾乎肯定會陷入困境，因為在我們這個極不道德的社會中，幾乎不可能避免性誘惑。正如聖女大德蘭所說，經常祈禱的人不可能停留在大罪當中；因為這兩者是互不相容的，必須放棄其中一樣。因此，如果我們持續虔誠地祈禱，我們總有一天會得到勝利，天主的恩寵必定獲勝，即使我們在過程中會遇到許多挫折。」
「其次，我們必須養成立即抗拒淫念和誘惑的習慣。聖方濟·沙雷勸告我們：『對於所有導致和引誘至不潔的事物，要極其迅速地轉身避開，因為這種邪惡會不知不覺地從小事發展到大災難。避免這種情況總是比治療更容易。』」
「第三，我們不可自滿或驕傲。聖斐理伯·內利警告說：『謙卑是貞潔的保衛。在純潔的問題上，最大的危險就是不害怕危險。當一個人將自己置於（罪惡的）場合中，說「我不會跌倒」— 這正是他會跌倒並嚴重傷害自己的靈魂的確鑿象徵。』換句話說，我們必須依靠天主的力量，而不是我們自己的力量。」
聖若翰·維雅納說：「為了保持純潔，需要三樣東西：實踐天主的臨在、祈禱和聖事；再者，就是閱讀神聖的書— 可滋養靈魂。」
聖亞豐索·利古力說：「當誘惑來臨時，沒有求助於天主的人就會失落。貞潔是一種我們沒有力量去實踐的德行，除非天主賜予我們這種力量，而天主只會把這種力量賜予那些向祂祈求的人。但是，凡是為此祈禱的人一定會得到。」
這位聖人建議一種簡單的恭敬聖母方式以保持純潔：「每天早晨和晚上，起床和睡覺前，俯伏在地上或至少跪著念三遍《聖母經》，並在每次《聖母經》後加上短短的祈禱：『因妳純潔及始胎無染原罪，聖母瑪利亞，請使我的身體純潔及靈魂聖潔。』」
聖若望·鮑思高說：「一旦你意識到誘惑，就讓自己忙碌起來。懶惰和端莊不能共存。克服懶惰，你就能克服對純潔的誘惑。」
purityispossible.com網站為年輕人提供了有助於訓練心智的方法，以克服性誘惑和成癮。
Your voice matters! Join the conversation by submitting a Letter to the Editor here.