I have a friend who is the mother of 10 children. When she was in the throes of raising those children when they were all still young, she would say to friends: “If you want to see me, drop by any time, but if you want to see my house, give me 24 hours’ notice.”
Her words remind me of Jesus’ response to Martha in the well-known passage from Luke’s Gospel, when Jesus is a guest in the house of his friends Mary, Martha, and Lazarus (whose feast day is celebrated July 29).
Martha seems a little frustrated with her sister, Mary, for sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to him speak while Martha tends singlehandedly to the preparations needed for a houseful of visitors. Martha asks Jesus to tell her sister to get up and help, but Jesus replies: “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Both my friend’s policy about visitors and the words of Jesus to Martha emphasize the need to prioritize our precious time with God and our precious time with others, in whom we should always seek to see Jesus, “the one thing.”
Of course, this is not to say Martha was doing anything wrong by trying to serve and provide for others. Jesus was not telling Martha the housework is not important or shouldn’t get done. We have all been in situations when we feel like we are carrying a heavier load than someone else and feel rather justified in complaining about it. But, in the situation above, Jesus pointed out that what Mary was doing – listening to the word of God – was superior to preparing food and keeping house.
We should also note that Jesus knew Martha better than she knew herself. She didn’t tell him she was “anxious and troubled about many things.” But Jesus knew. Martha had only complained about the one issue at hand, but he knew she was not giving her relationship with God enough attention. She had let herself become distracted by mundane chores. Not only had she become distracted from God, she had allowed herself to foster resentment toward her sister. Sound familiar?
If a part of us sympathizes with Martha, it’s only natural. Most moms can easily identify with the scenario Luke describes. The fact is someone does have to be in the kitchen, prepare and serve the food, and clean up after guests leave, but, if the Son of God were sitting in your living room, would you really stay in the kitchen?
When he addresses Martha, Jesus is talking about priorities. He is asking Martha to look at her life and examine what’s most important to her. Is it serving God or is it serving a nice meal and keeping a clean house? Are we more worried about what our guests will think of our house and food than about the guests themselves?
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of trying to make our homes appear perfect. What mother hasn’t scrambled around like a mad person trying to clean for company, ringing the alarm bells for the all the family to pitch in to make the house look like no one lives in it? When guests finally do arrive mom is often too distracted with meal prep and serving to sit down and have a meaningful conversation. We all know the person (ahem) who panics at the idea of last-minute dinner guests, consumed by thoughts of being judged on a less-than-perfect home.
When we find ourselves distracted by, or even obsessing about, the daily tasks that need doing, we need to recall Jesus’ words to Martha, that Mary had chosen the “better portion.” We don’t need to know if Mary was a chronic slacker, which some think would justify her sister’s frustrations. All we need to know is Mary recognized the incredible and precious gift of the presence of the Lord in her home. Mary clung to the words of Jesus, which “will not be taken from her.”
Be on the lookout for the Martha and Mary moments in your life—when there is a choice between the good portion and the better portion. Spending time in the presence of Jesus, absorbing his words and teachings, will always be the better part.
Lazzuri writes from her home in Nova Scotia, where she lives with her husband, six children, and her mom. She can be reached at [email protected].
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