Father’s Day is approaching and it’s unique this year because it’s the Year of St. Joseph – a saint we look to as an example of fatherhood.
Father’s Day also takes on a poignant note for our family this year. As I write these words, my husband is helping his siblings write the obituary for their father.
My father-in-law (whose middle name was Joseph) was not a quiet man. Italian to the core, he was never at a loss for words and had a large circle of family and friends. His life was certainly defined by his fatherhood of 52 years. He worked two jobs at times to make sure there were Christmas gifts under the tree. He volunteered untold hours at the ballfield, coaching and umpiring his sons’ games. Everyone who knew him knew family was his priority, not because he waxed eloquently about fatherhood, but because he lived a life of sacrifice for his wife and children.
When he would come to visit in recent years, it was never about grand gestures with Nonno (Italian for “grandfather”). It was about his presence and willingness, even eagerness, to give his time and attention to his children and grandchildren. He would read to them, watch movies with them, cook with them, attend their sporting activities, play games with them. His presence, and the presence of every good father, was a reflection of the presence of God the Father in our lives.
We have few details of the interactions between St. Joseph and Jesus. We have no words of wisdom from this holy man who sheltered and provided for the Son of God. We can only imagine how many times St. Joseph held the child Jesus close, one strong arm wrapped around the hope for all humanity? Surely, he spoke to Jesus and Mary on a regular basis, but I think his quietness, or at least lack of recorded words, speaks volumes about true fatherhood.
What is special about St. Joseph’s fatherhood is the lack of limelight. He reminds us that fatherhood is not so much about what dads say or the sage advice they give, which does come in handy at times, but more about their actions, presence and witness of faith. We don’t need to know what St. Joseph said to Jesus, because the story is not about St. Joseph, it’s about Jesus. Fatherhood, by its nature, is selfless.
Have you ever noticed the similarity in a statue of St. Joseph and St. Anthony of Padua, whose feast day is June 13? Both are often depicted holding the Christ-child in their arms. According to The Life of St. Anthony published in 1895, the saint was travelling and found lodging at the home of a benefactor. Sometime during the night, the owner of the house noticed a bright light emanating from the room in which Anthony was staying and approached to see “Anthony, as if in ecstasy, and, full of wonder, admiring and caressing a loving child of rare beauty, who was tenderly embracing the saint.” Obviously, the witness to this event shared what he saw, since this scene is the most popular depiction of this saint.
St. Anthony was given the gift of fatherhood through this intimate experience with the Christ-child. How could one ever top the experience of holding a toddler Jesus? What I love most about this story of St. Anthony is that it seems that there were no words exchanged between of the infant Son of God and this holy man. They were just gazing into each other’s eyes, Creator and created, much like the beatific vision we all aspire to someday. This sublime scene is the ultimate gift to one who has devoted his life to serve Christ in all created things, with a spirit of poverty – a spirit of fatherhood.
There are many platitudes out there about fatherhood, but the sight of a man holding his young child securely, confidently and lovingly, says more than all the Father’s Day greeting cards out there.
St. Anthony had a unique experience of fatherhood, holding God in his arms and gazing into his eyes – something most of us won’t enjoy this side of heaven. What we do get, if we are fortunate, is a father or father figure, who will model God’s presence to us – always willing to sacrifice, love, speak truth, give good gifts, and extend the embrace of mercy. Happy Father’s Day and thanks to St. Joseph, St. Anthony, and all the men who have brought us closer to God.
Lazzuri writes from her home in Nova Scotia, where she lives with her husband, six children, and her mom. She can be reached at [email protected]