God has been carrying me my whole life. I know this because he’s given me the strength to fight mental illness, fears, and pain. When my hope shattered during times of mania and psychosis, I felt his presence.
His presence is a blessing to me when I can’t see how much I am loved. When I believe the lies that I am a burden, not good enough, and that life is too much – his love penetrates my heart.
How mysterious his love is! He sends me people, hope, and healing. I am never alone. You are not alone.
The lyrics from the song Be Near to Me by Davy Flowers, “if I have you, I have all I need. If I lose it all, I have everything. You are all I need,” resonate in my body and soul.
God provides for all my needs. He is everything to me.
I remember when I was in the hospital and I felt like my life would never get better. And yet I felt this strong connection to Jesus. He helped me hang in there.
On sleepless nights, I prayed the Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I felt calm and close to a suffering Christ. I kissed the crucifix many times in the moonlit hospital room. Trains would rumble by, and I would hear my breath coming in and out.
A nurse would come and check on me by flashing their light in the room. It would wake me up but at least I knew I was being taken care of.
Bored in the hospital, I pretended to host a kid’s TV show, teaching them to make flower arrangements. I rearranged bouquets of flowers, gifts to me in front of the window in my small room. To the imaginary audience of children, I added ferns and greenery to fill out the bunch of flowers. And told them that a little sparkle went a long way. (I added a sparkly pink heart to the new arrangement.) The bouquets were wild and colourful.
My creativity helped me pull through the long stretch of days cooped up in a hospital. My joy in singing, dancing, painting, and writing are God’s gifts to me. These gifts are not meant to be for my delight only. If you have a gift – share it with the world. It is a light that can give wonder and free people from darkness.
Being brave is relying upon the might of God. It is praying for a breakthrough. It is hoping in the love and mercy of the Lord. It is expectant, waiting for him to reveal his abundance.
In a quiet chapel I kneel. Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus!
My prayer begins with thanksgiving. There is always a feeling of peace when I spend some time in silence with the Lord. Then I ask him for the things I need and give him praise. Next, I sit in silence to listen.
“What do you do when you adore [Jesus in the Eucharist]?” asked Peter Kreeft in Beautiful Eucharist. “You let God do things. He forms our minds and our hearts if we give them to him.”
I’m writing my last column for a while as I embark on a new chapter in my life, entering a season of married life. I am grateful to all my readers and podcast listeners who have been with me for five years. Thank you for journeying along with me in faith and hope.
If you would like to read more of my writing, you can find my book at amazon.ca/Arise-Shine-Live. There I share my stories of faith, overcoming mental illness, and self-care tips that I use.
I am working on new writing projects and will share with you my future creative work when it is ready.
My brain loves to produce new ideas and work. Like a garden there is never a shortage of growth!
In the meantime, may the Lord comfort you and heal you. This is not a farewell but a till we meet again.
God bless you!
You can follow Lisa on Instagram @Resilientlisa.
You can find her podcast The Will to Thrive: Stories of Resilience on popular streaming services.
Lisa’s book is available on Amazon. https://www.amazon.ca/Arise-Shine-Live