One of the selections on my summer reading list is a book titled The Road to Character. This non-fiction series of biographies by David Brooks was gifted to me, spurring a few jokes that the giver was trying to nudge me towards self-improvement. I laughed good-heartedly at the teasing but, honestly, I was immediately intrigued.
I have only read half of the book so far, but I have read the stories of some significant people in history, such as Dwight Eisenhower, Dorothy Day, Frances Perkins, and George Catlett Marshall.
The author, as the back cover states, “challenges us, and himself, to rebalance the scales between our ‘resume virtues’ – achieving wealth, fame, and status – and our ‘eulogy virtues,’ those that exist at the core of our being: kindness, bravery, honesty, and faithfulness.”
I love the detail in Brooks’ stories and the ways in which he introduces his readers to the individuals he profiles. These people have impressive resumes but it is who they are, not what they have done, that is his focus. He describes their families and their experiences. He acknowledges their strengths, struggles, and weaknesses in a celebration of the differences individuals make.
Not everyone is called to use their gifts in ways that will be recorded in the history books, and this book encourages us to realize that fame is not the definition of a life well-lived. Brooks reminds us to “rethink our priorities and strive to build rich inner lives marked by humility and moral depth.”
We may not make the six o’clock news, but we make a difference in the lives of those we encounter. God has created each of us with a purpose and we are called to seek this purpose by working on ourselves from the inside out.
In terms of my own story, I invested a lot of time and energy in completing the degrees necessary to become a teacher. When I finally reached my goal, I wholeheartedly threw myself into teaching and my students; however, when I had my own children, I decided to put my career on hold to focus on them. For 10 years, I was a stay-at-home mom. I was offered a few part-time jobs along the way, but declined them until my youngest daughter started school.
By the time she finished elementary school, I was teaching full-time again, but at her school, so we rode to and from school together and I was involved in her extra-curricular activities. I felt God had led me to find the perfect balance between my family and my career, until recently when my daughter told me that she didn’t remember a time when I wasn’t working.
She did not say this as a complaint; it was merely an observation. Many people work while their children are young, and this is not negative. However, I was saddened that my memories of this time were so different from hers, and the realization made me ask myself if I have always remained true to my priorities.
At a funeral I attended for a beautiful mother of three who died too young, I heard testaments of how she had lived her life with a focus on what’s most important. Like me, she was a teacher who worked until she her children. Unlike me, she did not return to work, but continued to give her life to family and volunteer work. She was remembered for her warmth, humour, wisdom, and hospitality. Even though I now work outside the home, I am still capable of prioritizing relationships and living my life fully as she did, not merely to be remembered for doing so, but to be the person God created me to be.
My resume may be well-padded, but no one close to me truly cares about that. I am grateful to the person who purchased The Road to Character for me. As I seek God’s plans for me, I appreciate all reminders to focus on my “eulogy virtues.”
Who I am is far more important than what I do, for the road to heaven is surely paved by the road to character.
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