After three days of many work-Zoom meetings and not much human contact, I felt disconnected from God, from myself, and from others. I felt alone and with a narrow-minded view of the world (a world the size of my small basement suite in a neighbourhood of people who keep to themselves).
I had this intense longing for Jesus in the Eucharist – for something tangible and real.
I had a longing for a face-to-face human connection – a hug or the touch of a loved one.
I also realized that my perception of reality was becoming more and more skewed and shaped by my embodied experience of isolation. It got me thinking about the concept of sacramental reality – how important it is for us as human beings to experience spiritual realities with our bodies, in the flesh.
Before the social isolation brought about by COVID-19, I had the blessing of being able to go to Mass as often as five times a week. When the coronavirus came to town, I didn’t miss going to Mass too much, and I still felt connected to God as I practised other forms of prayer. With time, however, I have begun to miss and appreciate the Mass on a whole new level. I realize that Mass has the ability to shape us deeply by inviting us to enter into and to surrender body and soul to a reality of love and communion. Going to Mass is like a reality check for me; the Scriptures, the rituals, the music, the words are all invitations to enter into the reality of God’s love.
There is something about participating in Mass that is very tangible. In the liturgy every bodily sense is engaged: hearing, taste, smell, and touch. It is also an opportunity to enter into communion with others present around us, surrendering to something greater than ourselves.
We unite ourselves to our Lord Jesus offering himself to the Father through the priest. In the Holy Mass we are embraced by the presence of other fellow believers and by our Eucharistic Lord in his holy body and blood. Sister Catherine Vincie, a professor of sacramental and liturgical theology, writes, “Because liturgical participation is holistic, meaning that it engages our whole person, it has great potential to change us. We take in that world not just with our minds, but also with our senses. The sounds, the smells, the sights of the liturgy have profound effects upon our inner emotional, psychic, and spiritual life.”
After a day detoxing from screens (and from my Zoombie state) I made a little plan to incorporate more embodied experiences into my daily life. If we look at the seven sacraments, each one has a physical element that makes present the spiritual reality and also brings us into the presence of a person.
When I think of the most life-giving moments of the last three weeks, all have elements of something tangible that engaged the senses with beauty, and the presence of a person or persons. For example, gardening with a friend during Holy Week, riding my bike to Granville Island with my younger sister, going for a coffee walk with my older brother at Trout Lake, baking glazed doughnuts with my roommate.
During this pandemic we need experiences that ground us in reality, that remind us who we are and what we believe. We still need face-to-face interactions to experience that we are not alone, that we belong.
It is also crucial to get offline and find ways to connect with nature, to have experiences that engage all the senses.
In the absence of being able to go to Mass or gather with our social networks, my roommate and I have started our own rituals at home, starting with Liturgy of the Hours in the morning with a lit candle on our makeshift altar. In the evenings we read aloud a chapter or two of Little Women to each other. Then we end the day with the Rosary and the daily Ignatian examen, also with a lit candle on our altar.
It brings a sense of routine, connection, and grounding, bringing order and harmony to the day.
Anna Loch is a parishioner of St. Joseph’s Parish in Vancouver, and is the outreach manager at Gardens of Gethsemani. She holds a Masters in Theology and Counselling Psychology.