“I’m an introvert.” Many of us have used these words to explain our behaviours and to defend our needs. Perhaps more of us identify as introverts in this fast-paced, demanding world of constant communication as a survival technique.
When we seek that time alone to “recharge our batteries”, we are often left frustrated and held captive by empty entertainment and electronic devices that refuse to give us true rest. Without true rest, our children and our relationships become a burden, demanding more from us than we can offer. This can result in a perpetual state of seeking breaks from things that do not give peace – all the while claiming that we need more pseudo-rest because we are “introverts”.
In his Confessions, St. Augustine said, “You have stirred in us the desire to praise you, for you have made us for yourself and our heart is restless until it comes to rest in you.” We have all felt this restlessness: this desire to hurry through the task at hand to get to the “fun” or relaxing part of our day. How many of us, after the “relaxing” part of our day, can say that we feel refreshed and ready for our responsibilities? Most likely it is very few of us.
So how can we escape the captivity to which we are subjected?
As in all things, Jesus shows us the way in the gospels. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”
None of us (especially young parents) are immune to envy when we read these words. Praying alone in the morning must be nice! We all desire to start the day off alone in silent meditation. We admire those who do this and we try to conquer ourselves regularly to start our day on the right foot. Depending on our state of life, this quest can look differently with the shifting seasons of parenting and grandparenting!
The most important thing to ponder is not what Jesus does but why he does it.
The shepherd does not need a break from his sheep or merely crave an escape. Instead, he craves deep communion with the Father, the source of all life and being. From this relationship flows all right desires, the good ordering of our wills, good judgment, and virtue.
Jesus, being God, knows instinctively that while in the flesh, we need to intentionally and consistently connect ourselves to the source of life, our Father. He teaches us by example and shows us the path to life in abundance.
In this way, recharging our batteries becomes something that isn’t “me-focused”. Rather, it is being receptive God. Introvert or not, God has prepared a banquet for us, and we need to sit down and regularly receive from him. He is the only one who can fill us when we are empty, the only one who can give us anything life-sustaining. This is precisely why every other search for happiness and peace eventually comes up empty.
If we frame our daily drive for rest in this light – as a quest for God and not a quest for “a break” – we can train our hearts and minds to “seek what is above” and not what will keep us oppressed, depressed, and tired.
When we feel like we need a break from our children, our jobs, our routines, our responsibilities, can we ask the Holy Spirit to help us reframe the situation?
In those moments of interior grasping for that glass of wine or that perusal of Facebook, can we say interiorly: Lord, it is you that I seek! You are all I desire in the land of the living!
This small sentence, uttered quietly, can change everything and put us in a position to receive from God instead of in a stance of self-indulgence or isolationism.
When we say these words, we pull up a chair and wait at the table for the banquet that has been promised to us.
While the things of this world may overwhelm us, there is good news: No one will ever “need a break” from the heavenly banquet. God is the one who provides true rest.
