“It’s almost Lent and I have no idea what I’m going to do,” my daughter sighed. She went on to explain that she had yet to decide upon something to “give up” for Lent. I am certain she is not alone.
This Lent, I’ll refrain from chocolate and attend extra Masses (as usual), but I am also going to try something different. A friend encouraged me to subscribe to my first podcast, Abiding Together, a weekly podcast hosted by Michelle Benzinger, Sister Miriam James Heidland, and Heather Khym, “providing a place of connection, rest and encouragement for people who are on the journey of living out their passion and purpose in Jesus Christ.” Having heard Sister Miriam speak at the Upper Room Conference in Vancouver last October, I was keen to try the podcasts.
During Lent, the hosts of Abiding Together will discuss the book The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Henri Nouwen, in weekly segments. This book, based on the parable of the Prodigal Son, is very fitting for Lent: a time of soul-searching, reconciliation, and forgiveness.
My friend suggested we could read the specific book excerpts and listen to the weekly podcasts on our own time; then, we could meet over lunch once per week to share what we have discovered along the way. Since I have wanted to read Nouwen’s book for some time, I eagerly ordered the book, in preparation. We have also invited two others to join in this retreat.
I know that reading a book on reconciliation will result in soul-searching and will possibly uncover issues – even sins – I may have pushed aside. In the podcast “Made for Mission” from Abiding Together, Michelle Benzinger discusses the idea of spiritual life being a return to Eden within our hearts. “What does it look like to have … Eden restored in us?” she asks.
Benzinger likewise stresses that this return “can’t be done in isolation; it has to be done in community.” Continuing her image of Eden, she suggests that we all need “fig-leaf friends – people who can see you when your fig leaves are down, [with whom] there is no shame, no judgment; there is just this receiving of who you are … the good and the ugly and the messy, and that it’s OK.”
Heather Khym continues: “The only way that we can [be seen] is to remove … everything that is covering up who we really are and that’s hard to do, but we have to start somewhere.” She states that we need to share what’s on our hearts, but not just for consolation. We need to share with those who will listen and then say, “Let me help you get to the next place.”
Khym acknowledges that sharing is not always easy. Oftentimes, “it feels safer” to keep things to ourselves, but we are called to “bring [what is on our minds and in our hearts] into the light with someone who is trustworthy.” She likewise stresses that it is “important that we find that [trustworthiness] in someone, but that we’re also willing to be that for other people.”
Previous retreats I have attended have taken place in concentrated time frames and in single locations. The format of this unique retreat will permeate many moments over 40 days. I will listen to podcasts while I drive or cook or clean. I will read and journal in my bedroom or in my living room.
Furthermore, I will share lunch, prayer, and discussion in community. I will be on a solo spiritual journey with the benefit of confidantes and “fig-leaf friends” to walk beside me. Having sisters in Christ with whom to share thoughts and discoveries as we keep each other motivated and supported is sure to result in a growth-filled Lent.
In the words of Sister Miriam, “I’m going to sit here with you … and we’re going to bring this to the Lord, and we’re going to let the Lord come into these places so we’re not living in isolation.”
I’m not sure what this Lent will unfold, but I know where it’s starting, and I like what I’m “going to do.”
The B.C. Catholic profiled Heather Khym last April.
