‘My mom is St. Monica’: parents get support praying for children’s return to faith

Father Richard Conlin can relate to Augustine of Hippo.

Not Saint Augustine of Hippo, the theologian, bishop, and doctor of the Church, but the college-aged Augustine of Hippo, who was out partying, drinking, and rejecting the Christian faith his mother, Monica, instilled in him.

The assistant pastor at Vancouver’s Corpus Christi Parish speaks of the connection he feels not only with the youthful Augustine who would write Confessions, but also with his mother, St. Monica, who spent much of her life praying for her son, begging God to bring him back to the Catholic faith he once held. Eventually, her prayers were answered.

“My mom is St. Monica, and I’m her Augustine,” said Father Conlin.

It’s in the spirit of St. Monica that a new archdiocesan initiative has been launched for parents and grandparents pained that their children or grandchildren are not practising the Catholic faith they grew up in. 

The founders of St. Monica’s Mission are hoping the program will bring joy to Catholic families.

“It’s easy to try to convert your children and give them information, but how can we take advantage of spiritual tools to effect change?” said co-ordinator Megan Rumohr.

“Our goal is to encourage parents to do something tangible, and not just sit with that pain, but pray intentionally for their children, fast for them, sacrifice for them, and find community among other parents that are going through the same thing.” 

That was certainly the example of Father Conlin’s mother, coincidentally also named Monica, who knew that when her son Richard was living in California and going to post-secondary school on a golf scholarship he wasn’t exactly living by the principles she’d taught him growing up.

“She knew I was going out drinking and doing stupid stuff and she was still quite patient with me. There were many times where she knew I was doing stuff that was directly against what she believed in, but she still accepted me back home,” said Father Conlin.

“She kept talking about faith and it was kind of annoying because I wasn’t practising at all.”

Then, while on a visit back home for Christmas break in 2007, Richard received some shocking news. His mother had cancer.

“When I got the news,” said Monica, “before I even called my husband, before anybody knew, I went to St. Joseph the Worker Church, in front of the tabernacle, and I was so distraught.”

She remembers cupping her hands and imagining holding her broken heart out toward God as she prayed through her tears. “It was really intense. I asked God: ‘what?’ He said: ‘Now I have your attention.’ It was this clear thing. I was the only one in the church, and he was so clear. I remembered Psalm 39: ‘for you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.’”

Inspired and moved by the encounter, Monica became a bold advocate for her health and her faith.

“I felt like I had the Divine Physician. God is such a loving father … What father of a five-year-old girl would not want that girl running to him if she is hurt? That’s the same way that God the Father is.”

It didn’t take long after they learned of the cancer diagnosis for her husband and two sons to notice something had changed in Monica. She had always been Catholic, but her passion for her faith had suddenly turned up several notches.

“She transferred her normal passion for life into things of the faith,” said Father Conlin.

“The lesson for parents out there is your children will notice if you have an authentic conversion in your faith. They will notice and that will intrigue them about Jesus as a real person that can authentically change someone’s life for the better. If children witness that in the life of their parents – if they are more joyful, passionate, peaceful, kind, thoughtful – it really sparks their attention.”

At times annoyed, at times intrigued, Richard slowly opened his heart to the faith his mother embraced so ardently. When Monica asked her son to go to confession as a gift for her birthday, he agreed.

“That was the first time where I really met Jesus in the sacrament of reconciliation. I experienced a profound sense of freedom,” he said.

After confession, he was so moved he decided to go to Sunday Mass, too, and receive Communion after a long absence.

“I decided to give my life to Christ on that Sunday and I never turned back to my old ways of drinking and partying. That was the turning point in my life.”

Monica considers it a huge blessing.

“Richard is ‘all in’ when he sets his mind on something. When he met golf, golf was it. He was all in. This is what happened to him, too, with his faith. When he discovered the truth of the faith and Jesus, it was all in.”

The rest is history. Richard not only began going to Sunday Mass, but entered the seminary and in 2020 was ordained a priest for the Archdiocese of Vancouver. Monica’s treatment plan worked and she is cancer-free.

“The prayers and sacrifices that mothers offer up for their sons have an ability to change hearts,” said Father Richard.

The launch of St. Monica’s Mission on the feast of St. Monica, Aug. 27, coincided nicely with The Year of the Family as an initiative for bringing families together in prayer, said Rumohr.

“It really is a mission,” she said. “Like St. Monica, have that hope that God has a plan for them and God is going to do something through your prayers and offerings for your children.”

St. Monica’s Mission offers monthly events including holy hours, Rosaries, and an email newsletter with resources for parents. Rumohr said within the first month of the launch, 80 people had signed up, and most of those attending in-person events were couples, joining in prayer for their children.

To learn more or sign up, visit family.rcav.org/stmonica. The next online Rosary with members of St. Monica’s Mission will be Oct. 1. The next Holy Hour will be at St. Matthew’s Parish Oct. 15.

“There is always hope,” said Father Richard. “We need messages of hope today, that conversion is possible. Hopefully our story will be one of many to come.”

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