Moms build a village for pregnant women in Fraser Valley

It may take a village to raise a child, but Abbotsford mom Renae Regehr recently found herself wondering: what happens when parents don’t have a village to turn to?

“After I had my third child, my mom came over and was basically a saint for helping me at home in house duties and getting my oldest to school,” said Regehr. “I had a village around me that was supporting me and I was still completely overwhelmed and healing from delivery. It was a lot to adjust to three children.”

Regehr started a Google search for postpartum support for women and was directed to medical help and resources for postpartum depression, but not much in the way of material supports or mentorship.

“I thought: how do women do it without a village?”

The thought persisted in tugging at her heart. Three weeks after her son was born, she sat down, scribbled some ideas into a notebook, and then called friends Kenzi Dirks and Amanda Adamson. Now, 1 1/2 years later, the trio has launched Care for Women, a program of free freezer meals, house cleaning, and mentorship for pregnant women and new moms who have no one to lean on.

“This has really been a passion in each of our hearts for many years,” said Regehr. “We are all moms wanting to help other moms.”

Dirks was pregnant with her first child and living in London, England, when Regehr called her. She was far from family and community supports, and although she would return to B.C. to have her baby, the vision of helping new mothers “really resonated ... living overseas and without a village, thinking about what it would be like to not have any support around myself.”

Dirks had grown up in a single-parent home. Reflecting on her mother’s difficult time in raising four children alone further cemented her desire to join Regehr in creating a program. After returning to B.C. to have her baby, the women got the ball rolling on Care for Women.

Dirks wants to make sure “women are not alone during one of the hardest times of their life,” whether due to a recent move, abandonment by the father, or any other reason they find themselves without a village.

Care for Women launched in January and operates in partnership with Hope for Women, a crisis pregnancy centre with locations in Abbotsford and Langley. It’s also connecting with midwives, house cleaning and catering companies, churches, and women who are willing to become volunteer mentors to new moms in their neighbourhoods.

Although the organization is not faith-based, the three women behind it are guided by a personal faith and conviction that all mothers and babies are valuable.

Hope for Women director Jared White said at a fundraiser last year that the practical help of Care for Women helps extend the life-affirming activities of his organization.

“If we are empowering women to cancel their abortion appointments, we believe we should be alongside them, helping them in every way we can: providing meals, cleaning their house, being mentors,” he said. Care for Women can help moms “after they have made a courageous choice” to give life to their children.

The program is still in its early stages, raising funds, cementing community partnerships, and screening and training mentors, all while Regehr, Dirks, and Adamson are raising their families, with nine children among them.

Once a sufficient number of mentors is trained, they will be paired with women in the community who are pregnant and lacking community supports. The mentors will connect with the mother-to-be four to six weeks before the baby arrives to start a relationship, arrive at the hospital after delivery with a gift, and then provide any kind of support needed for at least the next 10 days. Three freezer meals and a cleaning service will also be provided during that period.

Dirks isn’t aware of similar programs nearby and hopes their initiative will inspire other communities.

“Wouldn’t it be exciting,” said Dirk, for society to “recognize how hard it is to become a mom [so] it just becomes second nature that, when someone is about to give birth, we as a community come alongside them?”

Women interested in becoming mentors with Care for Women can apply online at careforwomen.ca.

While other programs like Care for Women aren’t available in the Fraser Valley, pro-life organizations across North America offer mentoring and other services for new mothers, from pregnant university students to women with addictions. Here are some of these wide-ranging resources.

Birthright International
Birthright International is headquartered in Toronto but offers a 24/7 helpline, live chat on its website, and 300 chapters around the world. Its centres offer referrals, information, pregnancy tests, baby or maternity items, and a compassionate person to speak with.

Caring Network
Kalamazoo, Michigan
The Caring Network serves more than 300 pregnant teens and women a year with free programs including pregnancy and parenting classes (with onsite child care), one-on-one case management, mentoring by other moms, and a “caring closet” with clothing, diapers, wipes, toys, and other supplies. It has a free-to-use kitchen, library, showers, laundry, and computer access, and invites parents to stay a while to read a book with their children, share a meal, or meet other families.

Catholic Mothers Group
Archdiocese of Toronto
Catholic Mothers Groups have sprouted up in at least 30 parishes in the Archdiocese of Toronto, as well as in one parish in Spruce Grove, Alta. They meet regularly to offer moms a place for fellowship, encouragement, and prayer, from one mom to another.

LifeHouse Crisis Maternity Home
Springfield, Missouri
Run by Catholic Charities of Southern Missouri, LifeHouse is a residential transitional housing program for homeless, pregnant women and their children up to one year after birth. While at LifeHouse, women receive housing, food, clothing, and basic necessities, as well as help to access social and health care services, counselling, prenatal and post-delivery health education, parenting and life skills, and help with other needs. After they get on their feet and move into their own housing, they can lean on a LifeHouse AfterCare program for another two years.

MiraVia at Belmont Abbey College
Charlotte, North Carolina
This residence for pregnant college students offers free room and board for up to two years while women are enrolled in a higher education program. MiraVia provides life skills classes in pregnancy health, parenting, nutrition, budgeting, and relationships; peer support; counselling; tutoring; and some childcare.

Prepares
Washington State
The Catholic bishops of Washington State put their heads together for this one. Prepares is a parish-based ministry that serves mothers, fathers, and children in the community by offering mentorship, parent and parent/child groups, donations, baby showers, and spiritual and emotional support. Prepares supports families from a child’s birth to their fifth birthday and welcomes people of any faith or no faith.

Sanctuaries for Life
Silver Spring, Maryland
Formerly known as the Archdiocese of Washington’s Birthing and Care program, Sanctuaries for Life helps connect pregnant women with affordable prenatal, labour, or delivery care and community support services including housing, mentoring, spiritual support, and educational programs. The Archdiocese of Washington also promotes a lengthy list of pregnancy centres on its website.

Sisters of Life
Toronto and U.S. cities
The pro-life initiatives of the Sisters of Life are well known even by Canadians. The sisters run various services for pregnant women in need, including mentorship opportunities thanks to volunteer “co-workers.” For example, the sisters connect pregnant women with “handmaids,” women who befriend them to give hope and encouragement; they invite unexpected fathers to meet “visitation brothers,” men who guide them in how to support the mother of the child; and they rely on “visitation coordinators” to help families connect with resources near them.

The Gabriel Project
Across the U.S.
The Gabriel Project offers a 24-hour pregnancy helpline and a connection to Gabriel project “angels,” or volunteers who offer moms-to-be whatever they need, including material and emotional support, connections to counsellors, and prayer. This parish-based program was founded in Texas in 1990, but now operates in dozens of U.S. dioceses and has been approved by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Any faith-based mentorship programs for moms in B.C. that we should know about? Email us!