I’ll never forget a talk about silence I heard once at a women’s prayer breakfast. The female speaker said she realized that when she first started to pray, she didn’t know how to be silent. She quickly learned silence was essential to fruitful prayer, so she trained herself to be silent.
She would place a chair in the middle of her kitchen, set a timer, and force herself to sit in the chair, first for five minutes, then building up to 10, 15, and on, until she was comfortable with the silence. It was hard, she said. She was someone who was always moving and doing something. It was against her nature to stay still and just be. But she realized that if she wanted to hear the voice of God and grow in her prayer life, learning to be silent was essential.
As we approach another season of Lent, the opportunity presents itself to make it a si-Lent. If there’s anything pandemic living has led to, it’s more screen time, which means less quiet time. We’ve become reliant on screens for everything including information, school, work, socialization, entertainment, and, perhaps most detrimentally, our spiritual lives. Many people are still unable, or unable again, to get to Mass in person, and the closest they can get is to watch online. All of this screen time takes a toll. Our bodies and souls were made for in-person human and divine connection.
When our brains are constantly bombarded with noises and images, we can’t hear the voice of God like we should. Remember the Old Testament story of the voice of God speaking to the Prophet Elijah? “And behold the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice” (1 Kgs 19:11-12). When is the last time you heard that still small voice?
The first two Sunday Gospel passages of Lent offer good examples of the need for retreat and silence. On the first Sunday of Lent (Feb. 21) we hear about Jesus going into the desert for 40 days to pray. This is how Jesus prepares for the start of his public ministry. If Jesus, the Son of God and second person of the Holy Trinity, needs to spend 40 days in silence, then maybe we should be paying a little more attention to silence in our lives. Are we even comfortable with silence? Or are we, deep down, a little bit afraid of what we might hear in that silence? What if God wants to tell us something we don’t want to hear? What if we learn we really don’t know how to pray at all because we’ve never known how to be silent?
The Gospel reading for the second Sunday of Lent tells us the story of the Transfiguration. Jesus takes Peter, James, and John up a “high mountain apart by themselves.” Why is this story part of the Lenten rotation? Firstly, of course, we see Christ’s divinity manifested when his clothes become “dazzling white” and he is seen conversing with Elijah and Moses. Secondly, though, there’s a significance in Jesus showing these three disciples that important things happen when we take the time to retreat, upon a mountain – that is, a quiet place where we can hear the voice of God more clearly.
If you have kids, you know that silence is rare, or perhaps non-existent. If, aside from a home, your house has become an office and a school, the chances of silence throughout the day could be even slimmer – but not impossible. We have to make space for silence in our lives, and it helps to start while kids are young, though they are never too old. If you haven’t done so already, take the opportunity this Lent to say grace before meals, but before digging in, have everyone sit in silence for a minute or two. Eventually, it won’t be awkward. Encourage your kids to use the quiet time to invite God into their hearts.
There are other opportunities to create space for silence throughout the day. Consider turning off your cell phone for certain times throughout the day. If you are used to waking up to a radio alarm, perhaps change it to a tone for Lent so you have the chance to wake up to God’s voice instead of a DJ’s ramblings or the latest number one hit blasting. Speaking of radios, most of us automatically switch on the radio when we get into the car, but that can be another opportunity for quiet time with God. Make it a habit this Lent to keep the radio off every time you are in your vehicle. In general, try to fight the urge to fill quiet space with noise. The more we give ourselves the chance to sit in silence with God, the more natural it becomes. You may even find yourself looking forward to these times of quiet prayer.
If you are cutting back on screen time for Lent, try a few minutes of evening silence together as a family. This can also be done at bedtime with night prayers. Cultivating the habit of even a couple of minutes, perhaps building up to five by the end of Lent, will reap spiritual benefits. Children are capable of a lot more control and quietude than we give them credit for, or even give them time for. As a family, you could even pick a Lenten book to read through aloud together, which may not be total silence, but does require silence to work. If your kids are preschool age, perhaps read from a children’s Bible or saint book a little bit each evening, or if there is a mix of ages, including some teenagers, you might want to consider a more mature spiritual book, such as Bishop Fulton J. Sheen’s Seven Last Words or St. Therese of Lisieux’s autobiography Story of a Soul.
However you choose to bring silence into your Lenten journey, remember we are taking our cues from Jesus, who started his public ministry with his own silent 40-day journey. We live in a busy world, and God is with us in the hustle and bustle of it all, but for the next six weeks let’s take every chance we can to hear that still, small voice.
Lazzuri writes from her home in Nova Scotia, where she lives with her husband, six children, and her mom. She can be reached at clarelazzuri@gmail.com.
