When it comes to hearing an apology, we know that wording matters. Saying “my bad” after a misstep with a loved one is not the same as saying “I’m sorry”. Likewise, hearing “I forgive you” after an apology is like having a direct injection of hope and peace, whereas “no worries” doesn’t have quite the same effect.
The Sacrament of Confession is not about “some guy” listening to us list our darkest moments in a dark box but rather it is the most respectful way the Church can go about the binding up of wounds and unloading the burdens of her children. It is meant to be about the Good Shepherd tending his wounded sheep.
In Confession, we have sensory evidence of forgiveness. In hearing the words of absolution, we are free to move on in peace and to separate our true identity from the deeds of our past.
When He taught us to pray the “Our Father”, Jesus, keeping our design in mind, made sure we had an important tool for maintaining our peace of heart.
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. The operative and most striking word in this sentence is the dependent clause—the words “as we forgive”. Forgive us as we forgive others. It is only in forgiving others that we do not stay stuck living out our days as a victim.
When we are victims of violence or someone else’s sin, we need to acknowledge the wrongdoing, grieve the wound and take it to Jesus so that He can help us to forgive and our identity can be restored.
When we wholeheartedly forgive, we set “those who trespass against us” free from our judgement and condemnation and we give Jesus back what is rightfully His (judgement and healing). Once we have transferred the burden of judgement of the person and situation, we are free to see the areas where we have sinned and hurt others out of our woundedness.
We are free to move on.
Jesus tells us that unless we are like little children, we shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. Children move on. Like flowing rivers, they have a destination (likely a mud puddle or an off-limits drawer) and they do not get bogged down with unforgiveness or victimhood. As we age, debris (sin) clogs up our waterways and forgiveness and mercy do not flow as easily.
“On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water,’” (John 7:37-38).
But what about those whose trespasses have maimed us to a degree that we cannot begin to untangle or understand? To not forgive is to remain tangled and in pain. To forgive is indeed to choose forgiveness over and over, despite the pain we might still feel.
If we believe in Jesus and cling to his words, our hearts will be unhindered; good things will flow in and out unobstructed and we will participate in heavenly freedom, regardless of feelings.
The Our Father promises us a completely free-flowing, unimpeded river in our hearts. A river that carries away guilt and shame and rushes in with mercy and forgiveness in mind-bogglingly unlimited supply.
In teaching us to pray the Our Father, Jesus did more than help us to manage our waterways; he taught us the secret to spiritual childhood and ultimately, interior freedom.
