Telling Jesus you love him on Ash Wednesday? Sounds like a great way to spend Valentine's Day, writes Clare Lazzuri.
This St. Valentine’s Day, show you really love someone … by
putting ashes on your forehead.
That’s right. For the first time since 1945, Ash Wednesday and St. Valentine’s Day are on the same date, Feb. 14. But really, why do we go to Mass and allow someone to make the sign of the cross on our foreheads using burnt palms if not for love? Isn’t it a perfect way to say “I love you, Jesus. I love what you did for me. I want to spend the next 40 days loving you better.” Sounds like a great way to spend Valentine’s Day to me.
But isn’t St. Valentine’s Day about romantic love? Actually, yes and no. Traditionally, the celebration of this saint’s feast day was focused on love between couples and fertility but also on recognizing parents’ love for children. And, of course, don’t forget the altruistic love of a third-century bishop (St. Valentine of Rome) who was jailed for helping imprisoned Christians and later miraculously restored the sight of his own jailer’s daughter.
After the jailer’s conversion, St. Valentine was beheaded for his faith. So, the roots of this now hyper-commercialized chocolate-infused holiday are really about all-encompassing self-sacrificing love – the same kind of love Jesus showed us when he hung on the cross for us.
But if Ash Wednesday is a day of fasting and abstinence for Catholics, whereby we abstain from eating meat and consume only one main meal and two smaller meals, how can we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day? If Valentine’s Day is really about love, then the simple act of observing the beginning of Lent with fasting and abstinence and receiving ashes can all be acts of love.
Nowhere does the Church say “Thou shalt not consume chocolate nor receive flowers on Ash Wednesday.” However, if you really want to maintain the solemn nature of Ash Wednesday, then consider moving your Valentine’s feasting to the day or weekend before. Make a special dessert (heart-shaped red velvet cake is a great choice), or break out that box of chocolates. Have a “romantic” dinner with the kids, including candles and wine glasses. Our kids love having Italian soda or cranberry juice in their wine glasses at a special dinner.
Lent should be a time for us to fall deeper in love with Christ. Every good thing we do can become an act of love for Jesus. If your kids are at the crafty age, have them make a valentine for Jesus, promising a way they can serve him throughout Lent.
Something we’ve done in the past is make a prayer chain for Lent. Write down the name of an individual or family on a strip of construction paper and link them together until you have enough for every day of Lent (46 counting Sundays, 40 without). Have the kids take turns opening a link on the chain every day, perhaps at breakfast or during evening prayer time, and make an effort as a family to pray for that person or family that day. Along with prayer, an act of kindness or a silent sacrifice would be appropriate.
The whole family can make a Valentine’s Day/Lent pledge using the acronym H.E.A.R.T. On a large piece of paper (heart-shaped if you like), write out the following (or tweak to make it your own):
H: Help out around the house without being asked.
E: Eliminate one thing that keeps me from having God at the centre of my life (could be television, video games, a toy, junk food, complaining about my sister’s chewing, etc.)
A: Add one thing to my life that involves putting God first, such as spending some time each week in front of the Blessed Sacrament adoring Jesus and asking him to help me love him better, or going to confession at least once in Lent.
R: Relationships: Spend some extra time with someone who is lonely or who would like my company. Could be an elderly neighbour, a nursing home resident, or even a family member.
T: Talk to God daily. Try to start and end my day talking to God about what’s going on in my life, asking for his help and thanking him for all his blessings.
The love that we live out daily with our spouse, children, extended family and friends, and even strangers, is all part of the greater love that leads us to heaven. Jesus told us to love one another as he has loved us. And how did he love us? By carrying that heavy cross all the way up to Calvary Hill and then being crucified on it so that we could share eternal life with him. This should be the focus of our Lenten journey – to be a model and messenger of that love to the world.
So, start Lent off by celebrating love, and then keep it going.
Lazzuri, a mother of six, writes from her home in Nova Scotia.