A 1925 Painting of St. Therese on her deathbed. Therese experienced physical and spiritual trials shortly before her death.
On Trinity Sunday, June 9, 1895, St. Therese of Lisieux offered herself as a victim to the Mercy of God.
This prayer written by the saint in her autobiography describes the logic of her decision:
“O my Divine Master, shall Your Justice alone receive victims of holocaust? Has not Your Merciful Love also need thereof? On all sides it is ignored, rejected ... the hearts on which You would lavish it turn to creatures, there to seek their happiness in the miserable satisfaction of a moment, instead of casting themselves into Your Arms, into the unfathomable furnace of Thine Infinite Love.
O my God! must Your Love which is disdained lie hidden in Your Heart? It seems to me, if You were to find souls offering themselves as victims of holocaust to Your Love, You would consume them rapidly; You would be well pleased to suffer the flames of infinite tenderness to escape that are imprisoned in Your Heart.
If Your Justice – which is of earth – must needs be satisfied, how much more must Your Merciful Love desire to inflame souls, since ‘Your mercy reaches even to the Heavens’? O Jesus! Let me be that happy victim – consume Your holocaust with the Fire of Divine Love!”
Immediately after she made that Act of Oblation on June 9, 1895, Therese experienced the oceans of grace. She wrote, “From that day I have been penetrated and surrounded with love. Every moment this Merciful Love renews me and purifies me, leaving in my soul no trace of sin. I cannot fear Purgatory; I know I do not merit to enter, even, into that place of expiation with the Holy Souls, but I also know that the fire of Love is more sanctifying than the fire of Purgatory. I know that Jesus could not wish useless suffering for us, and He would not inspire me with the desires I feel, were He not willing to fulfill them.”
Therese had the desire to become a saint, and she sought out a means of getting to heaven by a little way. She wrote, “We live in an age of inventions; nowadays the rich need not trouble to climb the stairs, they have lifts instead. Well, I mean to try and find a lift by which I may be raised unto God, for I am too tiny to climb the steep stairway of perfection. I have sought to find in Holy Scripture some suggestion as to what this lift might be which I so much desired, and I read these words uttered by the Eternal Wisdom Itself: ‘Whosoever is a little one, let him come to Me.’ Then I drew near to God, feeling sure that I had discovered what I sought; but wishing to know further what He would do to the little one, I continued my search and this is what I found: ‘You shall be carried at the breasts and upon the knees; as one whom the mother caresseth, so will I comfort you.’ Never have I been consoled by words more tender and sweet. Thine Arms, then, O Jesus, are the lift which must raise me up even unto Heaven. To get there I need not grow; on the contrary, I must remain little, I must become still less.”
In April, 1896, Therese coughed up blood. Therese saw this as a sign that she would soon die and go to heaven. The following summer, she developed a dry cough which was treated with various medicines. Therese longed for heaven, but she also experienced trial in faith regarding the existence of heaven. Therese made many more acts of faith and endured her spiritual trial patiently for sinners.
小德蘭自獻為犧牲
1895年6月9日、聖三瞻禮主日，聖小德蘭自奉為天主慈悲的犧牲。
以下是節錄自聖女自傳中的祈禱，反映她自獻給天主仁慈之愛作祭品的理據。
「噢，神聖的主！是否只有祢的公義找到願意犧牲自己的靈魂？祢的慈悲不是也需要他們嗎？在各方這愛是不被認識和被拒絕的。… 祢慷慨施予慈愛的心靈卻走到受造物裡在一刻的可憐滿足中尋找快樂，而不把自己投入祢的雙臂，投入難以言喻祢無限之愛的熔爐中。
噢，我的天主！難道祢那被輕視的愛只埋隱在祢的內心嗎？在我看來，若祢找到靈魂奉獻自己作為祢慈愛的犧牲，祢會很快消盡他們；祢會讓那困在祢心的無限温柔的火焰出來。
假如祢的公義----是屬此世的------必定要得到滿足，那麼，祢仁慈的愛又要如何渴望去燃點靈魂？因為『祢的慈悲直達於天庭』。噢，耶穌！讓我成為那快樂的犧牲-----請以聖愛之火消盡祢的全燔祭品！」
小德蘭作了奉獻後，感到被浸於聖寵的汪洋中。她寫道：「自那天開始，我被天主的愛環繞著、滲透著，仁慈的愛每每能更新我、潔淨我，讓我完全沒有罪惡的痕跡。我不可能懼怕煉獄，我知道我不配到煉獄這贖罪之地，偕同諸聖靈魂一起；但我相信仁慈的愛火，孰能比煉獄的火更聖化我。我知道耶穌不會願意我們受無用的痛苦，若祂不願意滿全我的渴望，祂就不會用那些渴望來啟發我。」
小德蘭渴望成聖。她會設法發掘能抵達天堂的小路。她比喻著：「我們活在發明的時代；現在富人不需要爬樓梯，他們有升降機；而我，亦嘗試乘搭把我提升到天主台前的升降機，因為我這小個子爬不了成聖的陡樓梯。我要從聖經中摸索建議，探討如何找得這部登天的升降機。我讀到永恒智慧說：『誰是無知的，請轉身到這裡來！』。我於是接近天主，肯定找到我想要的；但仍想進一步求知，看祂怎樣對待「那些渺小者」我又找到了：『她的乳兒將被抱在懷中，放在膝上搖擺。就如人怎樣受母親的撫慰，我也要怎樣撫慰你們 』。我從沒有被比這些更溫柔和甘飴的話所安慰過。噢，我的耶穌，祢的手臂就是提升我到達天堂的升降機。到那裡，我不必成長；相反的，要繼續渺小、繼續成為更渺小的。」
1896年4月，小德蘭咳嗽見血，她明白她將要死而登天。接著的夏天，她要服用不同的藥物，去治療她的乾咳。小德蘭渴望上天堂，卻又受著懷疑天堂存在的試探。她發了很多的信德，並為了罪人，耐心地克服這靈性上的試探。