We all want to illustrate our own lives and have control of the “crayon,” writes Julie VanSpall, but “realistically, we are never in control.” (PxHere image)
Have you ever noticed that just when you think you have everything planned and under control, something changes?
In my early twenties, I had my heart set on going to Queen’s University for my bachelor of education. I had wanted to be an elementary school teacher for so long that I had volunteered as a coach, tutor, choir director, and classroom assistant since my high school years.
Entry into education programs in the early 1990s was very competitive, yet the program at Queen’s valued experience. Since I had a strong portfolio, I submitted my application – university transcripts, profile, and reference letters – with cautious optimism.
A few weeks later I discovered I was on the Queen’s waiting list because I had neglected to submit a high school transcript (my own costly oversight). While extremely disappointed in myself, that curve ball didn’t crush my dreams of being a teacher. I accepted that I would likely have to wait another year before pursuing my career – until I heard about the Faculty of Education at St. Francis Xavier University in Antigonish, Nova Scotia.
I had travelled to the Maritime provinces as a pre-teen with my family and loved it there. I felt a simple application couldn’t hurt, so I applied and was accepted almost immediately. This course of events changed my life forever.
While at St. F.X., Chuck Luttrell from the CISVA Superintendent’s office came to our campus to interview Catholic Education students for potential employment in British Columbia. Again, I didn’t think there was any harm in going for an interview. In addition to this interview, upon graduation, I applied at several school boards in Southwestern Ontario. I had no responses until mid-June when I received a phone call from Cathie Oberndorf, then-principal of St. Augustine’s School in Vancouver. After an initial phone interview, I flew to Vancouver and was hired.
Three months after beginning my dream job, I met a man at a colleague’s birthday party. He was a young, Catholic who had grown up with the fiancé of my co-worker. Three and half years later we were married and bought our first home, a condominium in New Westminster.
We brought our first two children home to that condo and were just thinking of entering the housing market to accommodate our growing family when we learned that our building was one of the Lower Mainland’s infamous “leaky condos.” One of our priorities as a young family was that I would be able to stay home with our children for a few years. While we had two incomes, we had worked hard to reduce our mortgage and make this possible. Now, with a condo leaking and depreciating in value, we could never afford a house in our neighbourhood on one income.
Within months of this issue arising, my husband’s parents, who were moving, offered us the chance to change communities and move to their original family home in Delta. We continue to live in that house today. Two more children joined our family, I stayed home from work for 10 years, and recently began to work at nearby Immaculate Conception School, where my husband and his siblings attended.
My life has turned out better than I could have dreamed. That university application “mishap” wasn’t a mistake; it led me first to employment in a faith-filled community and then to my husband. The leaky condo “disaster” was the blessing that led to our home in a supportive, Catholic community.
In the children’s book, Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson, a young boy with a magical crayon draws everything he wants and needs in his world. In her book, Walking With Purpose, author Lisa Brenninkmeyer reflects on the purple crayon concept, mentioning how we all want to illustrate our own lives and have control of the “crayon.” Realistically, we are never in control.
God holds my crayon and I am learning to surrender and accept that truth. Currently, we are dealing with another curve ball, in the form of a career change for my husband. It isn’t always easy, but we trust and wait for what God has in store.
As Brenninkmeyer states, “The purple crayon is safe in (God’s) hands, and he won’t scribble. He’ll create a masterpiece.”