With Valentines’ Day around the corner, many people are thinking about love. Right after Christmas, stores begin to fill up with material goods such as cards, roses, chocolates, and jewelry to encourage shoppers to show love. Admittedly, these gifts are special gestures, and even though we know love cannot be bought, I must ask: what is love?
1 John 4:16 reminds us that “God is love.” I realize that this still doesn’t really define the word or the concept very clearly, but it is a start.
In Deus Caritas Est, the late Pope Benedict XVI expands upon this concept: “Love is indeed ‘ecstasy,’ not in the sense of a moment of intoxication, but rather as a journey, an ongoing exodus out of the closed inward-looking self towards its liberation through self-giving, and thus towards authentic self-discovery and indeed the discovery of God…” (DCE, 6). In allowing us to give ourselves to others, love lets us come to know them, know ourselves and, ultimately, to know God. In other words, love gives us the freedom to escape the confines of selfishness to consider “the other.”
Recently, I learned of the Hebrew verb tense, the “jussive,” which I feel also provides insight into the concept of God as love. Author Eugene Roop explains that the jussive is similar to the imperative tense; however, “the force of the Hebrew jussive can range ‘from the very strong … to the very soft (almost a wish)’ and ‘always possesses a voluntary element.’”
This tense was used in Genesis 1 to illustrate how God invited the stages of Creation into existence, each beginning with “Let” and culminating with the following invitation: “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness” (Gen. 1: 26). We were not created by force, but through invitation; we were created through love.
We have been created in God’s image and, right from the beginning, have been invited to share in his likeness by spreading his love. We have been invited into a relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (the “us” in Genesis), and we can choose to accept this invitation or leave it.
In his Jan. 30, 2023 column, speaker, author, and podcaster John O’Leary reflected on the concept of choosing to love. He stated that the way we show that we have accepted love and that we are willing to share it with others is by doing things rooted in the mindset of “I want to” rather than “I have to.”
O’Leary stresses the power of changing our hearts: “Choosing to love positively impacts not only your family, but also your business, spirituality, relationships and life. You’ll discover yourself more present, active, engaged, and effective. Fueled by love, you’ll discover yourself … [and be] less likely to complain about what’s wrong and more likely to celebrate what’s right.”
John O’Leary’s wise words remind me of the power of invitation. He states, “The tension and stress associated with ‘I have to’ go to work, forgive her, move forward, watch my weight, clean my house, pick up the kids, be home for dinner, or get back into my faith dissipates when the sentence begins with ‘I want to.’” When we accept God’s invitation to exist in his likeness and respond to life with a positive attitude, we are open to happiness and love.
When we think outside of ourselves, we grow in our union with others. The jussive tense is evidence that God did not command us into existence, nor can he force us into relationship. He gently wished, invited, and loved us into being, and that feeling of “wanting” to think outwardly is our acceptance of the invitation to exist in his image. In essence, “wanting” and wishing, rather than “having” and being forced, to do things for others is love.
Many may say that they don’t know God, yet they have felt love. Realizing that I still have not provided a definitive answer to my original question – “what is love?” – I will end with this thought: anyone who has “wanted” to give to others, has felt “liberat[ed] through self-giving,” and has experienced an all-powerful emotion they cannot truly put into words has loved. And, anyone who has loved has known God.
