In 2004, we purchased a dining room suite. I realize how trivial this purchase sounds in writing; in reality, however, this set was – and continues to be – one of the most significant purchases we have ever made.
My maternal grandmother, “Grandma McDonald,” was a true hostess. From her, my mom and I learned to appreciate setting a table. As a child, my favourite job was to create handmade place cards to accompany either Mom’s or Grandma’s crisply ironed linens, good china, shining silver, spotless glassware, and burning candles. Gathering with extended family around a long table and saying Grace before meals always created the ultimate feeling of “home” for me.
As Grandma aged, she continued to entertain. When she moved to an apartment and no longer had the room or the energy to host grand dinner parties, she still made the effort to honour her guests. Even if we were just having store-bought baked goods with a cup of coffee, or sandwiches made from canned salmon, the gathering became a “party” with Grandma. She would set her small table with her best dishes and pretty napkins, acknowledging any form of fellowship as the special occasion it truly is.
When we were first married, the tiny apartment dining table and chairs I had purchased when I lived on my own worked well for two people. A card table would occasionally be pulled out for dinner guests. Then, as we added highchairs and boosters to the mix, everything felt too cramped. We borrowed an old table from my in-laws for a while and I always did my best to set a welcoming table, but as our family continued to grow, we continued to covet a family-sized dining room suite.
Having been raised on a farm, I love wood and Mennonite furniture. My husband shares this taste, and for a couple of years, we browsed and priced out furniture in our preferred style, only to realize it was out of our budget.
Right before the birth of our third child, my husband found a suite we both loved. The price was reasonable, but we still knew it was more money than we could really afford. At the same time, we knew we needed a bigger table to accommodate our day-to-day needs and decided that, if we were going to make a purchase, it should be our “forever” family table.
Nervously, we took a financial risk and purchased a table with two extension leaves, eight chairs, a buffet, and hutch. It fit – barely – in our small kitchen and we relished the idea that our good dishes could be taken out of boxes and stored in the hutch and that we could all sit together at one table, even when guests joined us.
Grandma McDonald died around this time. It saddened me to know she would never have the chance to sit at my table or to even know I finally had a family table of my own. Imagine my surprise when I later received an inheritance cheque that covered the cost of our purchase.
I have always felt that the table was an unexpected gift from Grandma: a purchase we made hesitantly, not knowing we would later receive her gift of money; a purchase made with Grandma and her gatherings in mind from the very start.
When we recently renovated our home, we informed the designer that the dining room suite was the basis for our new kitchen and dining room. On Christmas morning, we hosted the first gathering in our “new” space: a family brunch with 13 people comfortably gathered around the table.
As Grandma showed me, I don’t need a big table to have a party, but ironing the linens, setting the table, and lighting the candles allowed me to offer prayers of thanksgiving for my loved ones and for the opportunity to share meals in my home.
Most importantly, saying grace together before meals is the focal point of family as I have always known it.
“Bless us, O Lord,” and help us to always realize that thy bounty comes in many forms, presented most clearly when two or more gather in your name.
