One of my favourite foods is soup. A hot bowl of homemade soup, with a broth made from last night’s chicken bones, and a nice piece of French bread with butter, thank you very much. But then I also love pasta! And I love salmon, and salads with chicken and eggs, and ice cream, and waffles … and popcorn with real butter! Sometimes I crave Ichiban noodles, but I think that that is a remnant neurological effect from the MSG and whatever else is in those packets that I ate over 30 years ago.
Don’t you just love food? I mean, not just any food, but tasty, mostly healthful, and preferably prepared by someone else.
There is a quote about food from someone I can’t remember that goes something like this: plants wait for it, animals seek it, and humans cook it. Now this may seem obvious, but it does have a deeper meaning, and I’ll talk about it in a second. So stay with me, because the next part may seem disconnected.
Aristotle said there are three types of friendship. The first is the friendship of utility. You know, that dude you work with who you call upon to help you out with certain things. Maybe you do inspections together and really get along. You enjoy a good laugh during breaks. You talk about getting together for beers, but somehow in five years it still hasn’t happened.
This friendship is based on utility, and convenience. You serve each other, and take from each other, in a practical way, and while you may enjoy each other’s company, once you change jobs, the friendship is a thing of the past.
The second type is the friendship of pleasure. These are the light-hearted friends who you maybe spend time with, but it’s mostly superficial. You go out dancing at a club, or meet for a quick coffee and some gossip. Lots of laughs, but the purpose of this friendship is to “enjoy” each other’s company, and then move on.
The third friendship is the friendship of virtue, or “good” friendship. This is what we may think of as the authentic friendship, in the ups and downs. This friend is the one who knows you, and loves you anyways. They will encourage you, and call you out if needed. Most importantly, this is the friend who makes you a better person, and it is based on equality. I’m not sure that everyone has a friend in this category. This kind of friendship is a gift and takes effort, while the others are usually free from obligation.
Now when Jesus invites us into friendship with him – “No longer do I call you servants … but I have called you friends” (Jn 15:15), what does he mean?
Certainly Our Lord doesn’t intend that we be friends of utility or pleasure, but the intense and unconditional friendship of virtue. If this is so, how can it be possible? How can sinful, broken humans be on equal terms of friendship, not as servants, with the saviour of the world? Our natures make it impossible.
Plants wait for food; it is their nature. A plant cannot go beyond its nature.
Animals go beyond the nature of plants and actually seek out their food, which involves some type of intellect and action. A dog will never put on an apron and make me waffles. It is outside of their nature.
Only humans cook their food. It is in our nature to be creative, to be thoughtful, resourceful, to take risks, to enjoy and create amazing food, not just to survive by it.
Human nature is beyond all creatures in that we share the life-giving image and likeness of God. But we still live a natural existence and cannot therefore be equals, friends, with God unless somehow we are brought out of, and beyond, our nature. This super-natural life that we must attain if we hope for friendship with Christ is not attainable by our own means.
God actually calls out to us, first in our creation, then in our baptism, and then in every waking moment, to participate in his nature with him. We are invited to share in the nature of God! To love, to give, to be happy in the way that he is. It is not something we have a right to, but it is something we are invited into. And the name of the invitation is “grace.”
To pursue a life-changing, authentic friendship with God, we must first become more and more like him, and grace is the gift of God that allows us to approach the throne of grace in humble, but confident, hope. It is the grace of prayer and the sacraments that God wants to pour upon us as he waits for us to accept the invitation.
The Eucharist, bread from heaven, is truly the food of friendship. As we worthily receive Christ, we are enabled to become more and more like him through the grace he pours out on us poor sinners.
As Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI said, “We must trust in the mighty power of God’s mercy. We are all sinners, but His grace transforms us and makes us new.”
