It is easier to cancel fatherhood and masculinity as a whole instead of seeking to heal and restore our image of father. So many of us bear deep wounds as a result of the failures of the men who were supposed to lead and protect but instead dominated and desecrated.
Pope Francis has prophetically named this the Year of St. Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus. It is possible that he sees the need to restore and renew the world’s relationship to fatherhood.
In Jewish culture, the blessing of the father carried heavy weight. Its uttering was irrevocable, and it simultaneously confirmed one’s identity and one’s mission in life. It carried with it the power to put into motion – to instill confidence and unleash God’s gifts in young lives.
Man is the issuer of life; not only does he initiate life, but he also confirms identity and mission in his children (both spiritual and biological). The purpose of blessings given by priests is similar.
Spanish Scripture scholar Father Luis Alonso-Schoekel writes about the effects of repeated blessing. A priest blesses the people in the name of the Trinity so that “day after day, week after week, our Christian life increases and multiplies.” Not only does the father generate life, but he also multiplies it with his spoken blessing so that life takes on its intended fullness and meaning as ordained by God.
A father’s words of blessing over his children are indispensable. So many cultures of the world have “coming of age” traditions. We must pay attention when rituals appear across cultures independently; these rites are laden with psychological meaning. It’s written into our design that a child flourishes when the delight of the father is spoken aloud and confirmed in time and space.
We are now seeing clearly what the lack of fatherly blessing brings to a society. Never before have we witnessed such vast numbers of young people without a sense of mission, belonging or a sense of their value (as climbing suicide and depression rates among youth would indicate).
Yet, we must acknowledge that a society-wide disdain for “toxic masculinity” is understandable. Indeed, the stock masculinity prevalent in society is indisputably of the toxic variety. Men who destroy, belittle, and abuse are the products of a spiritual vacuum and a tone-deaf approach to ordered and wise relationships. We’ve tried to pin this crumbling we are witnessing on bullying and other various side issues. But strong families are the basic building block of society and as the family goes, well … you’re seeing it.
It doesn’t need to be so going forward. One family at a time, fatherhood can be reclaimed and restored, and St. Joseph is just the man for the job.
Pope Emeritus Benedict urged men to look to Joseph for domestic support: “I wish to extend a particular word of encouragement to fathers so that they may take St. Joseph as their model. He who kept watch over the Son of Man is able to teach them the deeper meaning of their own fatherhood,” he writes.
In his book Consecration to St. Joseph: The Wonders of our Spiritual Father, Father Donald Calloway, MIC, writes, “In our day, marriage and family are under attack. Jesus and Mary want you to be consecrated to St. Joseph because there is no father or husband who knows more about the sacredness of marriage and the family or the self-sacrificing love required of fathers and husbands than St. Joseph.”
“Real men are true gentlemen at the service of others,” Father Calloway writes. “Real men love. Real men protect women and children against any and all threats. Real men are willing to die for their wives and children […] Men like St. Joseph are willing to fight for what they love; what is good, true, and beautiful. May the Church and families once again be filled with such men!”
St. Joseph teaches us the value of doing hard things. He has so much to offer the disillusioned men of today who, understandably, feel defeated and shot down before they even begin.
St. Joseph can teach us how to protect what is sacred, beginning with the child in the womb even when the mystery of his little being is frightening and there are so many questions. He can teach us how to persevere in the face of stress and hardship, both financial and social. (Think walking to Egypt with your wife and your two-year old). He can teach us how to trust in the plan for our lives.
St. Joseph is the next frontier in the unfolding of God’s plan for marriage and family. St. Joseph is the model for how to move in hardship, how to embrace daily crosses, and how to be OK with falling short and repeatedly and faithfully getting up to try again. St. Joseph is the man for today’s man. Slowly and humbly, beginning with this year, St. Joseph will help the family to make up for lost time.
