St. Francis de Sales was a very gentle saint. He said, “Blessed are the hearts which can bend; they shall never be broken.”
The saint opposed strictness. He said, “Just be certain that when you become more indulgent toward others, you should become more disciplinary with yourself. It is usually the case that those who are very easy with themselves tend to be very severe and strict with others.”
A favourite motto of Francis de Sales was “All by love, nothing by constraint.” He often said “Those who love to make themselves feared, fear to make themselves loved; and they themselves are more fearful than anyone else: for others only fear them, but they are afraid of everyone.”
Francis de Sales regarded the virtue of zeal with a certain amount of suspicion. He said, “It is generally speaking, impetuous, and although it strives to exterminate vice by reproving sinners, it is apt, if not guided by moderation and prudence, to produce most disastrous effects.”
He explained: “True zeal must be accompanied by knowledge and judgment. It pardons certain things, or, at least, winks at them, until the right time and place are come for correcting them; it reproves others when it sees there is hope of amendment, leaving no stone unturned when it thinks there is a possibility of preserving or advancing the glory of God. It is certain that zeal tempered with gentleness is far more efficacious than that which is turbulent and boisterous.”
Francis de Sales always spoke with so much sweetness and gentleness that with two or three words he often restored the most troubled hearts to peace. When it was necessary to correct a fault, he did it with so much kindness and gentleness that the delinquent strived always to correct himself out of love rather than fear.
Bishop Jean Pierre Camus described St. Francis’ gentleness toward the sick: “In his visiting of the sick when on their death bed our Blessed Father was truly an angel of peace and consolation. He treated the sick person with the utmost sweetness and gentleness, speaking from time to time a few words suited to his condition and frame of mind, sometimes uttering very short ejaculatory prayers, or aspirations for him, sometimes leading the sufferer to utter them himself, either audibly, or, if speech was painful to him, secretly in his heart; and then allowing him to struggle undisturbed with the mortal pains which were assailing him.
“He could not bear to see the dying tormented with long exhortations. That was not the time, he would say, for preaching, or even for long prayers; all that was needed was to keep the soul sustained in the atmosphere of the divine will, which was to be its eternal element in heaven, to keep it up, I say, by short beatings of the wings, like birds, who in this way save themselves from falling to the earth.”
Francis de Sales had compassion for animals. He never did harm to animals and, as far as he could, prevented others from harming them.
Commenting on the gentleness of St. Anselm, Francis said, “One day, as he, St. Anselm, was travelling, a hare, being closely run by the hounds which pursued it, took refuge between his horse’s feet, and the dogs remained yelping around unable to molest their prey in this its strange sanctuary. His followers were highly entertained at so novel a spectacle, but Saint Anselm groaned and wept. ‘Even thus,’ said he, ‘do the enemies of the soul pursue it and drive it into all manner of sins, until at the last they can kill and devour it, and whilst the terrified soul seeks for some refuge and help, its enemies mock and laugh if it finds none.’”
“Be very mild and very gracious in the midst of your exterior occupations, for everyone expects this good example from you,” according to St. Francis de Sales.
「一切用愛，而非約束」
聖方濟.沙雷是一位非常溫良的聖人。他嘗道：「能屈能伸的柔心是有福的，因為他們不會破碎。」反對嚴厲之餘，他更肯定說：「善待別人者，必對自己嚴謹；相反，優待自己的，必苛待他人。」
他為人熟悉的格言是：「一切用愛，而非約束。」又說：「那些喜歡令自己被懼怕的人，怕讓自己被愛；其實他們比任何人都更懼怕；因為別人只是害怕他們，但是他們害怕所有的人。」
聖方濟對熱忱的德行，抱有某程度的懷疑；他讓我們明白：一般而言，假若熱忱的人草率地指責他人的罪衍，忽略適合的態度，或缺乏智德，這樣的指責會適得其反，遺害更深。真正的熱心，要有認識與慎判伴行，對一些事情具備寬容之心，或有時要暫作視而不見，靜候適當的時機，纔作出責難。指責時，需留有餘地，著眼於榮主愛人為目的。發自溫良內心熱忱的指責，更備撥亂返正的效果；否則，只會增煩添亂。
聖人溫情柔語，常只需三言兩語，便給罪人低落的內心，重新帶來平安。聖人以和善溫良，鼓勵改錯的心，應該源於愛，不是因為懼怕。
若望.伯鐸.金武主教，形容聖方濟如何善待病患者：為躺在病榻的臨終病人來說，方濟儼如一位天使，給他們帶來平安的慰藉。他按病者的情況或心思，說出極度和善溫良的話。有時，他會用短禱或簡單的言詞，激發病者吐出心聲；又或病者不能再發聲，亦設法使他們內心默默訴說；總之，就讓陷於病痛苦海的人，能安心忍受。
方濟認為長篇大論的說教，對臨終的人是一種折磨，實在也不是向他們作出佈道或詳禱的時刻。最重要，是令靈魂保持在承行主旨的氣氛中。
聖人也熱愛動物，從沒有加害動物的心。有關聖安釋莫的良善，聖方濟道：「有一天，聖安釋莫在他的旅途上，遇上一隻野兔被一群獵犬追趕；野兔眼見無路可逃，竟然躲到聖人的馬腳下，獵犬卻又不敢莽闖馬蹄，只得在外周亂吠。隨從正以看熱鬧的心欣賞這一幕，聖安釋莫竟咆哮流淚，說：『就像靈魂的敵人，湧出所有罪惡去追趕，使靈魂無路可逃，但求置靈魂於死地而後快。』」
聖方濟.沙雷說：「在你的外在職務中要常保持和藹可親，因為每個人都期待看到你這善表。」
