At a First Communion preparatory Mass I recently attended, the Deacon prayed that the children would continue to come with joy to the celebration of the Eucharist. While the sentiment of the prayer was beautiful, the background sounds of two toddlers loudly crying and protesting as the words “come with joy” were pronounced made me smile.
I have been there. I have brought four different not-always-joyful toddlers to Mass. Sometimes they sat quietly; other times, they too fussed noisily. It was not always the same child who acted in either of these ways; they took turns.
The reality is that going to Mass doesn’t always appear “joyful” for the child who doesn’t understand the miracle of what is happening in the Eucharist. Likewise, Mass isn’t always easy for the adult who does understand its magnitude, yet feels distracted by children who try to compete with God for their undivided attention.
Mass, with children, is beautiful and at times challenging. Mass, with or without children, is, however, never negotiable for baptized Catholics. So, week after week, my husband and I faithfully took our babies and young children to Mass.
There were times when we had to leave the church to deal with a crying child. Additionally, there were times when people glared at us as our children asked questions or accidentally hit their heads on the pew. Going to Mass with children is not easy, but it is worth it.
If my children had been able to choose their own foods from a young age, they never would have eaten vegetables. Because I care about their physical health, however, I continued to present vegetables as non-negotiable foods. In adulthood, my children eat balanced diets and have even come to enjoy various vegetables! Because I likewise care about their spiritual health, Mass for the people in our home has always been as routine as a balanced diet.
When children go to church regularly, they eventually learn respect and reverence for the Mass. Even though this may seem impossible when they are very young, most children eventually do learn how to “read the room” and sit quietly at Mass.
The old adage that “repetition is mastery” can apply to going to church because, when children attend Mass, they memorize responses and prayers. Children who regularly attend Mass, learn to listen for the bells, to watch for the gestures of the priest, and to respond in song or in word at the appropriate times. While these are initially rote actions, they become engrained in their minds, providing insight and reflection when they are old enough to understand their meaning.
At that same First Communion Mass, as our priest reflected on Matthew chapter 5 and Jesus’ call to be salt of the earth, he emphasized to the parents of the First Communicants that baptism is not a status but a mission, and that “virtue is caught not taught.” Children who attend Mass, see their parents and other families actively engaged in worship, encouraging them to build community. They come to know Christ in the readings, in Communion, and in other people who share the same faith. In these ways, they are given the tools to live out the mission of their own baptisms by “going forth” and sharing the light of Jesus with the world.
In our parish school, we attend Mass daily during Lent. Sometimes, this is very difficult for students and their teachers. It is not always easy for school-aged children (even those who regularly go to church with their families) to sit quietly with their peers and pay attention, every single morning. But, since repetition leads to positive habits, I firmly believe that it is worth our efforts.
Of course, due to free will, there is no guarantee that children will continue to attend Mass once they are no longer with their parents or their schools. However, there is a far greater chance that they will have a relationship with Jesus if this relationship is fostered regularly, in each of the above ways, from the beginnings of their lives.
I pray that in making Mass attendance non-negotiable, my children will continue to nurture their relationships with God throughout their lives. Like our deacon, I also pray that they – and all children – may come to the table of the Lord with joy.
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