God is the primary instrument in passing on the Catholic faith
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A stunning statistic in recent research indicates nearly 80 per cent of cradle Catholics leave the Church by age 23.
The 2016 Georgetown University study reveals this decision usually happens around age 13. I’m sure there are many contributing factors, but be certain – what we are doing right now is not working.
According to the Church, parents are the first and primary educators of their children in the faith (Catechism, 2221-2223). But in speaking with many parents over the years, I get the sense many don’t feel equipped or capable of teaching the faith to their children.
Often their own faith is battered. They have doubts; they may not have been taught the faith well as children themselves; they worry they’ll get questions they can’t answer.
But whatever the reason, the “new” way of teaching the faith seems to consist largely of dropping off children at a Catholic school or catechism class, with little overlap into family life.
I’m speaking generally here. Many parents share their faith exceptionally well. But the faith cannot be taught primarily in a classroom by learning and memorizing various facts about God from someone a child knows only casually. The faith is taught in relationship. The most powerful, God-ordained relationship for this is between a child and their mom and dad.
I don’t advocate for the end of parish- or school-based religious education of children. But I am suggesting that these not be the primary means of passing on the faith. They should supplement the sharing of the faith at home. If I were to run a parish-based faith program for children, I would direct it toward parents, or parents with their children.
Whether in the home or the classroom, the target of religious education for children must be clear: it is not primarily the child’s head we must reach, but the heart, which a parent must turn to God.
Perhaps the most important thing we have to remember as parents is we cannot do this on our own. We can be “super-Catholic parents,” busy with all kinds of faith-based family activities, but it is built on sand if we don’t fully realize that the gift of faith is given to a child first by the grace of God, ideally working through a parent.
That may sound obvious, but I know I’ve often relied far too much on myself, and not enough on God, when sharing the faith with my children.
The greatest thing we can do as parents is to ask that the gift of faith be given to our children. Yes, God will work through us, but He will be the primary instrument.
Apart from Jesus we “can do nothing” (John 15:5), a point he emphasizes in Luke 11:9-13 by asking what parent, although weak and fallen, doesn’t know how to give good things to their children. “How much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”
It is the Holy Spirit that will light the fire of the love of God in our children’s hearts: “The love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:5). As parents, we clearly must ask for this gift on behalf of our children.
“But my faith is weak,” you say. “I often falter as a parent. It’s hard to give what I don’t have.” Ultimately, not one of us is capable or worthy of passing on this glorious gift of faith to our children on our own. But with God, all things are possible.
What we pray for our children we must also ask for ourselves: a greater outpouring of the Holy Spirit and a strengthening of our own faith.
So pray. Learn your faith. Strengthen it. Only one thing matters: putting Jesus at the centre of your life, and trusting Him to respond and make up for what you lack.
How we live our faith in our daily lives will have great effect on our children when it comes to sharing our faith with them. How we follow God’s Commandments is critical: how we speak, how we treat our spouse, how we treat others, and how we do business. If our faith in God is real and strong, it will speak louder than any classroom.
You don’t need to be a theologian to teach the faith to your children, you simply need to love God and let that love shine.
My blessed Slovak grandma would have been hard pressed to explain transubstantiation, but she lived the faith. And everyone around her saw it, including me.
As St. John Paul II reminds us: “The future of the world and the Church passes through the family.”
