When Scott converted to Catholicism, friends were upset. They could not believe that a Bible-believing Christian would join the “Whore of Babylon.”
It made me uncomfortable when Scott would tell people that he was happy to talk with them. He wanted the truth, and if they believed they could share with him, he wanted it. I felt that he was admitting he might be wrong and wanted their thoughts on it. He assured me that he would always seek truth without fear.
God is truth. In his heart and mind Scott knew that Christ instituted the Catholic Church. He also knew that if that wasn’t the case, God would reveal that deeper truth. And that wasn’t something to resist.
His challengers would always begin with the typical assaults: Catholics worship Mary; we think we can work our way into heaven; the true Church is invisible, without a hierarchy. The basics.
Scott would wait his turn and then show them the Scriptures and early Church writings that had changed him. His conversion had been based on serious readings, prayer, and hard discussions with other converts. There were things that he could no longer deny, and while it had been hard, it had given him joy, and the precious Body of Christ.
“Don’t you want to know that same information in your own search for truth?” he would challenge.
But when he had countered their arguments and they had nothing left to say, a switch would flip and they would resort to either attacking Catholics they once knew, or they would abruptly close the discussion, saying, “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter in the end. We’re all Christians.” It certainly had mattered to them at the beginning. But the possibility that being wrong might demand something difficult scared them and backed them into illogical corners. I witnessed this exact script over and over.
The phenomenon was a part of something called “cognitive dissonance” – contradicting what you say you believe with your actual choices or actions. This almost always centres around religion, science, and politics. Chances are you’ve experienced it yourself. Most of us can admit that we’ve been guilty of it ourselves when we were too heavily invested in being right.
I came across this list of signs to help recognize the debate-deathtrap of cognitive dissonance:
- I become stunned by new information but retreat without changing perspective. I am shocked by information I did not know, and it’s clear I am not correct in my belief. I might even partially admit it. But I walk away from the conversation and tell myself that I’m still right and the information came from a (fill in pejorative) source. The world will confirm that I am still right. No change necessary.
- I interrupt to incorrectly summarize my opponent and avoid listening to what they are actually telling me. “So you’re saying …” My response has no relevance but gives me an easy way to avoid logic that I do not want. I can now make unfair assumptions about my opponent and feel justified in labelling and dismissing them without actually listening to them.
- I change the goalposts, making relativistic changes in what I believe. I say I’m against abortion, but when told the person I voted for supports and funds it, I shift positions to protect my position. “Well, that’s different because …,” or “his stance on ecology is more important,” etc.
- I yell, interrupt, or cut them short to avoid contradiction. This is usually done by making self-righteous accusations or ramblings to simply shut out the other person.
- I make ad hominem attacks. When I am confronted with hard arguments, I switch tactics and focus instead on attacking the other person as an individual. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation! I apparently don’t know you!” “You obviously don’t care about your children if you hold this viewpoint.” This is a last-resort tactic, made by someone with nothing left to argue.
Do you recognize yourself here? Or others you’ve had difficult conversations with?
If you’re in a discussion with someone and see these happening, it’s probably best to end the debate. The logic switch has been turned off. Do not concede but simply show respect. Your friend may someday feel safe to re-approach the topic less defensively. Focus instead on regaining the trust and goodwill of your friend.
And if it’s you, admit it and do better.
Above all, do not be afraid: God will lead us in truth when the logic switch has been turned back on. “Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist” (Eph 6:14).
