Catholic Vancouver May 01, 2024
Unlikely allies: Archdiocese, pride group find common ground in public discussion on love
By Agnieszka Ruck
If anyone expected to hear the White Rock Pride Society and the Archdiocese of Vancouver clash over love and sexuality on April 26, they would have been disappointed.
Both organizations hosted 200 people in an auditorium in Surrey for an event titled What is Love? In place of heated debate, there was dialogue and laughter, and considering the groups’ disagreements over LGBTQ+ and religious issues that have sometimes descended into incivility, the gathering was remarkably civil.
In fact, it was friendly.
Starting off the conversation were the hosts, pride society president Ernie Klassen and archdiocesan delegate for operations James Borkowski, who describe each other as friends.
It was a relationship that started less than amicably. In 2019, Klassen was denied a request to rent the hall at Star of the Sea Parish for a fundraiser. He got legal help and filed a complaint with the BC Human Rights Tribunal. However, before the hearing began, the pride society and the Archdiocese started talking and mutually agreed to resolve the matter outside of the tribunal process.
“It became clear to me … that we could look at a reconciliation process or we could look at a retaliation process,” Klassen told the crowd. “We chose to move towards reconciliation.”
Since then, Klassen and Borkowski have continued to converse as friends, not adversaries.
“I’ve never seen this much good come out of a legal case,” Borkowski said. “We started really getting to know each other, and when that happens, we really start to care about each other, and that’s something that our communities have not done enough of historically.”
In 2022, the Archdiocese and the pride society resolved the matter. Included in their agreement was recognition that “people in the LGBTQ2+ community have been deeply hurt all too often by coldness, rejection, judgement, exclusion, and lack of loving support from members of the Catholic Church,” and an apology for such behaviour.
It went on to say, “when Catholic teachings on moral issues arise that others may not accept, we commit to answering questions with patience, honesty, and gentleness, free of arrogance or prejudice. When our communities interact, there is never any excuse for disrespectful encounters, poor listening, or lack of sensitivity to one another … we desire to welcome everyone into dialogue as a child of God, for every person is equal in dignity and worth.”
Respectful dialogue and recognition of human dignity were on full display at the event Thursday. Borkowski and panellist Father Bryan Duggan both offered personal apologies to those in the audience who had been mistreated by Catholics.
“I think one of the worst habits we have is, we can live as if arguments are more important than people, especially when it comes to moral issues,” said Borkowski. “That’s not how Jesus was, and I personally apologize if you have ever been hurt by that type of approach by Catholics. We want to love better and that’s what this journey, these friendships, have been about.”
Father Duggan, an archdiocesan priest and registered psychologist, began the conversation about the meaning of love by suggesting that the starting point in a relationship is being known and understood.
“Love begins by letting ourselves be seen,” he said. “It is healthy and holy to be integrated,” rather than hiding certain parts of oneself. “Love is letting ourselves be seen, and that is an act of courage. In response to being seen and loved, we can love.”
The two panellists with him on stage were Viisha P. Souza, a third-year PhD student in mental health who holds a Master of Divinity from Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, and Janice Young, an ordained minister in the United Church of Canada. They shared their personal thoughts on Father Duggan’s remarks, having faced deep personal pain, processed grief and anger with others and with God, and been challenged on what love means. They also discussed the importance of being a safe place for young people struggling with questions about their sexuality.
All the while, the audience (which fairly evenly represented the pride society and the Archdiocese, about half of the attendees being invited by one or the other side) clapped, cheered, and offered moments of silence without any indication of supporting one side or the other.
The event was not styled as a debate, and, as such, it was able to bring together 200 people with different ideas about love, morals, sexuality, and religion, who sat down to listen rather than argue, offering some hope for those who wonder if there is still room for civil conversation in today’s polarizing world.
Organizers hope their goals of starting conversations, listening, and encouraging relationships will continue smoothly, although during the question-and-answer period it was clear that some audience members were looking for more substance. Some suggested the event was a missed opportunity to explain certain beliefs or that it left the impression that the Catholic Church is ready to budge on some of its moral teachings.
The organizers made it clear that disagreements weren’t on the evening’s agenda, focussing on shared beliefs such as the inherent worth of all people. The new collection of friends hasn’t said whether a second public event is planned and if it would find ways to address more challenging areas on the subject of love. Some of the audience clearly seemed ready to go there.