As Catholics, if someone mentions the word “lady” most of us automatically think of “Our Lady,” but have you ever thought about the meaning of the word “lady”?
I heard recently of a woman who was offended when she was addressed as a lady. The reason given for the offence was that the word denotes someone who is under the power of a man. I had never heard this before and didn’t realize that this seemingly innocuous word had been added to the ever-growing list of unmentionable terms.
Merriam-Webster defines a lady as “a woman having proprietary rights or authority especially as a feudal superior;” “a woman receiving the homage or devotion of a knight or lover;” or a “woman of superior social position.”
The dictionary also identifies the second-most-popular definition of “Lady” with the Virgin Mary.
I failed to see how any of these definitions were connected to male superiority, so I did a quick Google search on the root of the word only to discover many sources agreeing that it is most likely associated with “one who kneads bread.”
I suppose someone could make the stretch that “receiving homage or devotion of a knight or lover” and being “one who makes the bread” could possibly denote a subservience of some kind, but that argument seems weak. I would think “true homage or devotion” refers to love, which would be the opposite of “lording” over a lady, as it were. And making bread to help sustain the life of others seems like a worthy task.
Like many things, words aren’t safe from cancellation these days, be they nouns, pronouns, or verbs (watch out adverbs, they’ll be coming for you next!) and sometimes whole books.
My six-year-old daughter and I just finished reading a lovely book called Ruthie’s Gift by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley. Published in 1998, this gem of a book might not pass muster with the current language police, but we loved its family-centred story of one young girl learning what it means to be a lady.
Set in 1916 in rural Indiana, the book begins with Ruthie desperately hoping her sixth sibling will finally be a girl, but no such luck.
Ruthie’s mother is always telling her to “act like a lady,” but she finds this particularly difficult surrounded by so many brothers, with no girls her age in school, and with daily farm chores to complete.
With rumblings of the U.S. entering World War I, Ruthie soon begins to realize what her brothers mean to her and how sacrifice and acts of love define a lady. At one point, she begs her mother to allow the family to pretend that her new baby brother is a girl, to which her mother responds, “Imagine if we’d pretended you were a boy! It’s wrong. You are what you are.” Indeed.
Looking at the liturgical calendar for July, I couldn’t help but think of another woman who really defined the word “lady.” St. Bridget of Sweden, whose feast day is celebrated July 23, was a daughter, sister, wife, mother, queen’s handmaid, visionary, pilgrim, order foundress, and counsellor of popes and many other powerful men of her time.
Born in 1303, Bridget’s visions began when she was just 7 and continued throughout the rest of her life. Her marriage was arranged at a young age, but it was a happy one and the couple was blessed with four boys and four girls, including St. Catherine of Sweden.
After her husband died when she was only 41, St. Bridget spent many hours praying at his grave and eventually received visions instructing her to found an order of sisters that would reinvigorate the Church. Soon after the King donated a castle so Bridget could start her new order she received another vision from Jesus asking her to go to Rome to persuade Pope Clement VI to return from his residence in Avignon, France, back to his proper seat at the Vatican.
Bridget ended up never returning to Sweden and never saw her convent come to fruition with her own eyes, though it flourished for hundreds of years after her passing. She died a humble death in 1373, still praying and advocating for the abuses in the Church to end.
Perhaps her greatest legacy as a lady of faith is the 15 prayers given to her by Christ that meditate on his sacred wounds. To read these prayers and a little more about this saintly lady, including some recipes for her feast day, go to saintsfeastfamily.com and visit July.
I’ve heard it said that a lady is as a lady does. Perhaps, then, if we keep in mind the example of Our Lady, and saints like Bridget of Sweden, and all women who choose to humbly sacrifice their time and resources in the name of faith and family, we will know the meaning of a true lady.
Lazzuri writes from her home in Nova Scotia, where she lives with her husband, six children, and her mom. She can be reached at [email protected].
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