Volunteers and attendees offer understanding and support in small-group setting
The B.C. Catholic
A walking group is offering an active way to overcome grief.
“I think there’s a peculiar loneliness in grief,” said Jan Barnsley, a volunteer with the Vancouver Hospice Society, established near the intersection of Granville and Connaught Streets in Vancouver. “No matter how well one is supported by family and friends, it seems this loneliness is eased best by being with others who are grieving.”
Barnsley and several other volunteers run the hospice’s walking group for the bereaved. Individuals grieving the loss of a loved one gather near Vanier Park on Wednesdays or Saturdays to share their stories, walk together at a casual pace, and support one another.
“Volunteers are trained in hospice work, but we’re not professional counsellors, so it’s very much a peer-run group,” Barnsley said.
Many of the volunteers have faced loss themselves, so they understand the pain of the walkers. “We want to provide a safe environment for bereavement, and have everyone discuss whatever they need to and not be judged.”
Each walking group begins with eight weekly sessions, but many walkers continue to meet afterwards on their own time, said Barnsley. “The walkers are the main support for each other. Walkers have repeatedly said it’s just so comforting to find others who understand.”
Co-founder Sue Wong agreed, noting that the empathy of participants aids in the healing process. “Family and friends do not realize the pain doesn’t necessary go away after two or three months,” she said. “This is support from people who totally understand the journey they’re on.”
As well as the obvious emotional support, “When people are struggling with the legal things that go along with a spouse or good friend passing away, some of the other walkers can give practical help.”
The walks aren’t for everyone, though, Wong admitted. The leisurely pace means the amount of exercise is minimal, and some people do not find the group methods an effective method of coping with grief. “We’re not counsellors, we don’t advise, we just give support to people.”
After each walk, the group returns to a reserved table at Juliet’s Cafe for lunch and some socializing. “There’s this feeling of acceptance, and its quite magical, yet so ordinarily human,” noted Barnsley. The group helped her realize “how natural compassion is for all of us. Each time we learn to listen with compassion, we begin to learn to offer that compassion to ourselves.”
“That’s what leads to healing. Learning to offer that kind of compassion and attention is a very healing experience.”
The walks are free. More information is available at 604-737-7305 ext. 218, and at volunteer@vancouverhospice.org.
