As humans we crave rituals and traditions. Events such as birthdays, weddings, and graduations mark important milestones and transitions. But with COVID-19 restrictions in place, participation in important rituals has at times been limited to just 10 people. In many cases important rituals such as a funeral liturgy have been omitted altogether. We experienced this at Gardens of Gethsemani Cemetery and also had it reported by parishes. Many obituary services simply said a service will take place “in the future.”

In life we are on a sacramental journey with the Church marked by important rituals that offer meaning, that heal, that mark important passages. Many pastors have said what a joy it is to have their churches reopen so community can be restored with the resumption of important rituals such as Confirmations.

We are hardwired to search for meaning. Aristotle said, “all humans desire to know.” Pope John Paul II stated, “Each of us has both a desire and duty to know the truth of our own destiny.” Funerals offer meaning and serve a pastoral care function for family, friends, and community when there is a loss of a loved one.

For many, funerals have lost their value and meaning. Although different from Catholic tradition, many modern ceremonies are described as “a celebration of life.”  They are often well prepared and offer some fulfillment, but they fall short as “ritual” and tend to focus on the past without offering much hope for the future.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, an authority on bereavement, suggests this movement influences the common attitude “when I die, don’t go to any trouble.” Society’s mobile, fast-paced culture and emphasis on individualism has reinforced this way of thinking. During the COVID-19 pandemic, funeral homes in Metro Vancouver reported a significant increase in “no rituals” with their direct cremation services.

The secularization movement has contributed to an erosion of sacredness of death. Despite Church encouragement for the body to be present at the funeral Mass, the growth of cremation as a means of disposition has resulted in fewer bodies being present at ritual services.

According to Dr. Wolfelt, the body is the key symbol of death. He describes it as an important part of helping the family deal with the reality of the death of a loved one so that the process of healing can commence. The Order of Christian Funerals emphasizes the body being present at the funeral Mass for this very reason, because it represents how Christ died and expresses Catholic belief that the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

The Catholic Cemeteries ministry invites the community to explore the value and purpose offered in meaningful funerals and being part of a community sacred burial space. Services offer important meaning, assist with transitions, and provide healing and support.

Jesus Christ provides meaning, a model of reference and hope – the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promise and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit.

In this era of the erosion of rituals, let us remind ourselves of their importance to our human experience.

Peter Nobes is the director of Gardens of Gethsemani cemetery in Surrey.