Winning’s not the only thing; it’s not even the most important thing

I was on Facebook recently where a post caught my attention. Patrick Mouratoglou, the coach of Serena Williams – arguably the best female tennis player in history – said, “On the court there is no such thing as good or bad behaviour. I am not a moral avenger I am a tennis coach. My definition of a good or bad behaviour is whether it is helpful. At the end of the day the only thing I focus on is whether my player walks out a winner.” Wrong, wrong, and more wrong.

Most sports organizations will emphasize that the role of their coaches is far more than winning and that they are expected to help develop the whole person.

As coaches, we need to not only focus on developing the technical, physical, tactical, and mental dimensions of our students but to also formulate character.

As I have mentioned before, sports is not an end but a means – a means to help form a person who possesses virtues such as humility, hard work, sportsmanship, courage, self control, gratitude, magnanimity, and respect.

That respect needs to be shown toward opponents, officials, coaches, spectators, and the rules.

All athletes ultimately need to live in the world outside of their sport, though at the world-class level their managers may try to isolate them from this reality. After their competitive days are over, they will need to get on with the next stage of their life, be it university or business or having family.

If we as coaches do not help them grow in character, we are doing them a great disservice. Failure to reinforce these qualities could result in our former student not being accepted at colleges, being passed over for jobs, or having lifetime relationship issues.

John Wooden coached the UCLA basketball teams to numerous NCAA championships and mentored many players to future NBA careers, but he never minced words when it came to character. “Others may have more ability than you, but nobody should be superior to you in loyalty, enthusiasm, co-operation, determination, industriousness, effort, and character.”

He wrote several books including Wooden’s Complete Guide to Leadership, in which he speaks to coaches and young athletes about the means to develop deeper character. One of his favourite quotes was “Reputation is what others perceive you as being, but character is what you really are and that is what matters most.” 

Danish soccer club Nordsjaelland became the first sports team to hire a head of character development. Owner Tom Vernon envisioned the importance of the idea when he began the Right to Dream Academy while scouting players in Africa.

For the long-term success of these young players, who had nothing, he built an academy that besides soccer focussed on education and character. Turner says, “We realized that character development was the most important thing we were doing. We empower players with the skills and understanding of their opportunities, rather than have them focus solely on money making.”

He doesn’t see much effort being put toward building the all-round player in sports, suggesting nobody in authority seems to see this as a problem, yet fans and others note the decline in the moral strength of most pro athletes.

Some coaches may suggest character is difficult to teach but learning behavioural self-discipline is always within reach no matter the personality of the player. If an athlete will get up in the early hours to work their bodies through pain, or if a competitor will spend endless hours working on the same shot repetitively, that athlete can be trained to channel their negative emotions effectively.

Coaches need to be trained to understand how to best deliver this message. There is no excuse for not spending time on character.

Here are some times and ways to teach and demonstrate these characteristics:

• at the beginning of the season meet with athletes and parents, outlining expectations with respect to the training of character
• before each session, highlight one trait that will be the focus
• congratulate players for acting with character in practice or games
• lead by example. It is vital that coaches show self-control, respect, and a positive attitude.

Hopefully the coaches of our children will not see winning as everything and will proudly play a role in seeing their students become great people of character.