Those of you who are parents of young children are no doubt fully aware of the many decisions you will have to make regarding your children’s future. Catholic school, public school, or homeschool? Stay at home or daycare? These are crucial issues, but another you can add to the list is how you will navigate through your child’s life in sports, especially when it comes to high-performance academies. Like all the other important discussions that a husband and wife need to make, it is vital that you pray about it and bring God into the process as the consequences can be significant. Having been on every side of the process as a parent, administrator, coach, and player, I want to shed some light on the topic.
Today sports have taken on a monumental role in our society, and while much of the time the impact is positive, there are negative results as well. Staying physically active helps keep us fit, strong, and agile and improves endurance. Sports can produce in us valuable life skills such as hard work, discipline, fortitude, resilience, goal setting, tactical planning, and sportsmanship. I see the development of these skills as incredibly valuable. However, enrolling your child in a full-time academy is another question altogether, and there is an increasing pressure to do so at a very young age. Here are a few questions you can ask yourselves and pray about.
As Catholic parents we should prioritize our faith life: put God first. Often the hours that an academy demands of the young athlete can make going to Mass and receiving the sacraments seem very difficult. You need to be determined and organized in order to stay consistent on this. When playing a tournament on a Sunday, whether it is in town or away, check out all Mass times before and plan for Mass. Make sure that you communicate with your child and the coaches what your priority is. You can be a great example for others by remaining faithful; I have seen examples where parents have been emboldened in faith by seeing other parents do the right thing. Pray that you both will maintain a “faith-first” attitude towards your child’s sports.
If you choose to go the academy route, then at what age? Being in the sports profession myself, I personally do not see the benefits of going exclusively into one sport before the age of 12. Sports academies, which are often in search of revenue, and some sport governing bodies will not always agree with me, even if there often is a high drop-out rate, especially in teenage girls. In fact, some organizations outline how many hours are necessary at 5 and 6 years if the child might want to turn pro someday.
As parents, Caroline and I were not thinking of a pro career for our children at 5 or 6 years of age. First off, children ultimately do better socially when exposed to different recreational activities when young. Secondly, studies show a significant number of injuries being sustained by still-developing young bodies due to repetitive use from a very young age. Kids also need to be kids and not be programmed too much. Be prepared that you will feel pressure from coaches and friends, and the dream of glory could hit you, but always put your child’s interests first. Pray for wisdom to decide when is the right time to increase your child’s sports workload.
If your child is in high-performance sports, always be aware of any physical pain or mental anxiety that your child may display related to the sport. As parents you know your child, and at times a complaint of pain or anxiety may seem like an excuse, but be careful: this could be serious, resulting in long-term limitations. They also may be reaching out, basically saying, “I have had enough, I need a break.” Pray that you will remain sensitive and listening to your child’s needs.
It is important to be able to trust the coach or coaches. While sports associations have more safeguards now, it is important to stay vigilant against abuse or poor ethics. You expect certain virtuous behaviour from your children, such as sportsmanship and respect for officials and opponents. If this isn’t happening, talk to the coach or someone else in authority, and if necessary pull your child out. Remember that you are the parent, and you should have significant input into what the children hear both on and off the field. Pray that your child’s coach shares your values.
Academies are very expensive, so be prudent in how you spend. Don’t eliminate opportunities for your other children or put yourselves in serious debt. There are organizations that can help reduce your costs (e.g., KidSport). Pray that you will be a good steward of the gifts that God has given you.
Don’t get me wrong: I have been there and am aware of the exciting possibilities in your child’s future, but please pray before each and every stage that you will do what God is asking of you.