In the Gospel of Luke we hear Jesus’s message to a large crowd gathered around him: “’If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even their own life – such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple” (Lk 14:26-27).

When I was younger, the message that we must “hate” all those near and dear to us did not sit well with me. How could I possibly be asked to hate my parents and family members? As an adult, I have started to understand that Jesus was merely using that strong word to help us keep our priorities in check.

Jesus goes on to explain himself, saying, “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish’” (Lk 14:28-30).

I need to revisit these words every so often, as reminders to focus on the building of my own “tower.” In this month of All Saints and Souls, I am reminded that the time to lay the foundation for my eternal life is now. My human relationships, my acts of service, and the carrying of my cross are all parts of the foundational process, not end goals.

Lay minister and author Patty Breen has reflected on this gospel, stating, “to follow Jesus with greater abandonment, I need to let go of certain things and ideas. I need to not put other people or relationships on a pedestal instead of Jesus. I have to evaluate which are the various idols in my life and how they affect my relationship to God. I need to be aware of where I avoid the cross in my daily life. I need to take personal responsibility for that which needs to still die inside of me.”

Jesus does not want us to hate others in the sense that we abandon and treat them with disrespect; he simply wants us to detest the idea of being separated from him – to hate the notion of putting anyone or anything ahead of him. If we live our lives to impress others, or we live infatuated with earthly relationships and material possessions, with instant gratification and the inability to offer up our sufferings to Christ’s sufferings on the cross, we are distancing ourselves from God. We are building towers without foundations – towers that will not transcend death.

Breen’s admission that things inside her need to die struck a chord with me. I have many things within myself which need to die before my life on this earth ends. To build a strong foundation for my eternal life, I must allow pride and jealousy to die. I must build a relationship with Christ first and, in my relationships with people on earth, must treat even those “brothers and sisters” who are different from me – particularly those who annoy me or disagree with me – the way I would treat my actual family. I need to take up my crosses without complaint, and without feeling put-upon or self-righteous.

Bishop Robert Barron states, “All of us sinners tend to see the universe turning around our ego, our needs, our projects, our plans and our likes and dislikes. True conversion
. . . is so much more than moral reform, though it includes that. It has to do with a complete shift in consciousness, a whole new way of looking at one’s life.”

I need to read this gospel and these reflections at this time, as I strive to be a disciple of Christ during a pandemic, when life in many ways has turned in upon itself.

For me live forever, parts of me must die now. For me to be a disciple of Christ, I must not think of myself, my image, or my ego, but on how to carry my cross in a spirit of love and sense of other. 

Thankfully, I am not expected to endeavour this on my own. Christ and the whole communion of saints support me in building the foundation of my tower.