Ministry at Ukrainian Catholic parish hosts first memorial service
By Agnieszka Krawczynski
The B.C. Catholic
RICHMOND
Caption: Santa Chow.
A small community of moms and dads grieving their infants’ deaths honoured them at a solemn memorial service.
“It was beautiful. There was lots of singing. The inside of the church was quite ornate, and I felt it was healing for me,” said participant Donna Crombie.
Crombie, a member of St. Nicholas Parish in Langley, was one of about a dozen people praying and singing for the souls of their little ones in the icon-decorated Dormition of the Mother of God Ukrainian Catholic Church in Richmond June 11. The memorial was held in the Ukrainian Catholic liturgical tradition.
“They have a whole set of prayers and songs. It’s healing and it’s nice to know that this kind of service is there for parents.”
Crombie’s son Keaton was stillborn seven years ago. She had been nine months pregnant and went into the hospital not knowing there was a problem.
“I was devastated,” she said. “I wanted to talk to somebody who was also Catholic, who knew my faith and could support me in that, and (help me) come out of that crisis of faith with the trust that God has our children in safekeeping.”
She could find no program in the Archdiocese of Vancouver that supported bereaved Catholic parents. “I thought, this has to change. We have to have some kind of support for our Catholic community here in Vancouver.”
She launched the first B.C. chapter of Elizabeth Ministry International in 2011. That organization, headquartered in the U.S., provides faith-based resources on childbearing, sexuality, relationships, and infant loss.
The ministry now has three chapters in the Vancouver area: at St. Nicholas Parish in Langley, St. Matthew’s in Surrey, and most recently, Dormition of the Mother of God.
The Ukrainian Catholic rite “has special prayers for the infants,” said parishioner Santa Chow. She decided to start the Richmond-area chapter about a year ago. The June 11 memorial was its first official event.
“I organized that because I see in the Beatitudes, ‘Blessed are the ones who mourn,'” she said. “I am a bereaved parent.”
In 1993 Chow’s daughter Chloe died during childbirth of meconium aspiration.
After attending an Elizabeth Ministry event at St. Matthew’s, Chow decided to take it to her neighbourhood.
Pastor Father Richard Soo, SJ, called losing a child one of the most “painful and persistent wounds” a person can suffer.
“We are very happy to support this ministry. In our contemporary secular culture, people are often afraid to mourn, don’t know how to mourn, live in denial of bereavement,” he said.
The Ukrainian Catholic rite “offers in its divine services an opportunity for them to acknowledge their pain and bring it before the Lord. Even more important, the liturgical services offer mourners an opportunity to experience God’s consoling grace and love in their grief.”
Elizabeth Ministry members also give one-on-one peer support to parents facing a difficult diagnosis, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or other challenging situations.
