Milestone couples offer advice for challenging times

For a milestone celebration of 166 local married couples, this year’s Marriage Anniversary Mass was remarkably intimate.

The annual gathering, which celebrated more than 5,100 combined years of marriage this May, saw only Archbishop J. Michael Miller and a handful of participants at Holy Rosary Cathedral in Vancouver.

All others, including 164 couples and their families, watched the live event online.

“Despite the restrictions placed upon us because of the coronavirus pandemic, I hope that you will find ample opportunities for rejoicing and for celebration, if not today then on the date of your anniversary, with your families,” Archbishop Miller said to the two couples present and to the many others watching from home and represented by their photos taped onto every pew.

“For the followers of Christ, marriage is not only the irreplaceable cell of society and social life but also, and even more importantly, a sacrament, a means of grace,” he said.

“Marriage is certainly a source of grace for husband and wife, but also for the entire Church and indeed for the whole world, because it makes visible the deepest meaning of love – God’s love and human love – as sacrificial, faithful and fruitful, life-giving.”

Chuck and Marie Luttrell, celebrating 50 years since they said “I do” at St. Pius X Parish, were one of the two couples chosen to participate in the event in person.

“It was a joy for us to celebrate with so many other couples, and a great honour to be asked to read at the Mass,” said Marie.

“With everyone there in spirit, and their pictures in the pews, it was as much a celebration as could be held right now. What struck us was the great message of hope they brought.”

David and Connie Robinson, who met at a wedding and are now celebrating 25 years of marriage, were also at the cathedral.

“We felt that [Archbishop Miller] was delivering his homily personally to us,” said David. The date, May 10, was particularly significant to the Robinsons: it was Mother’s Day and Connie’s birthday.

For couples tuning in from home, like Clay and Gail Imoo, the virtual experience was also a meaningful one.

“It’s great that the archdiocese recognizes couples who hit certain milestones, and it’s a wonderful affirmation of the sacrament of matrimony,” said Clay.

“The video, picture slideshow, and printed pictures on the pews were nice touches to unite the attendees as the body of Christ. The blessing at the end of Mass was a good test of our focus as we had all three of our kids in the room with us. They were doing their best to be reverent.”

Other pairs who participated virtually described to The B.C. Catholic how the virus has affected their lives in different ways.

“I think our marriage has been strengthened and we have grown closer during this pandemic,” said Evelyn Chow.

She met Yui Shun, her husband of 40 years, at a student event at the University of Wellington in New Zealand. Now Evelyn and Yui enjoy taking long walks in their neighbourhood. After COVID-19 broke out, they chose to devote one of those walks to praying a Rosary for the people they passed by.

“We learned from our past experiences that whenever we are faced with a crisis or trial, it is faith that helps us through the most challenging of times. And so, as we turned again to God in prayer to help us overcome our fears and anxieties about the pandemic, we were able to see things in a different light and trust that God is working towards something good in our lives.”

Wanda and Bruno Bogusz, married 62 years, said despite being unable to have friends over for a barbecue, they feel the virus hasn’t drastically changed their lives.

“This virus has not really been a problem for us. Since Bruno retired early, we’ve been together alone forever and can almost read each other’s minds and finish sentences,” Wanda said.

Ian and Reine Mykyte, who met at All Saints Parish and have now been married for 15 years, said the pandemic has deepened their prayer life.

The Marriage Anniversary Mass has been an annual celebration of marriage in the Archdiocese of Vancouver since 2018. Couples celebrating anniversaries in five-year increments from five years to 60+ years renew their vows and receive certificates and appreciation from the Catholic community. (This year, they will have to watch for their certificates in the mail.)

The pairs married the longest also receive a special shout-out. This year, they were Rudy and Shirley Leon, celebrating their 66th anniversary in 2020.

“Dear friends: your witness as couples still in love – who strive to overcome together with patience, forgiveness and kindness the trials that accompany every life – you are proclaiming ‘the beauty of God’s plan for humanity,’ a plan that was revealed with the creation of Adam and Eve as the first prototype of married couple,” Archbishop Miller said in a cathedral full of wedding and family photos.

“As we celebrate these milestone anniversaries, may the good Lord continue to bless you and your families. Under the maternal protection of Mary, Mother of our Families, may you continue to radiate the beauty and joy of your married vocation and your married mission. Our world needs the witness of that Good News you embody for us.”

Staying sane with your spouse while quarantined

Ian and Reine Mykyte, married 15 years:
Pray more together. Exercise more patience. Go out of your way to forgive.

Clay and Gail Imoo, married 20 years:
COVID-19 has helped us to keep things in proper perspective. As cliché as it sounds, we would encourage married couples to focus on the present, to take things one day at a time, and to keep the important things important. That’s staying healthy, staying safe, and staying faithful to the church and to each other.

David and Connie Robinson, married 25 years:
Listen with an open heart, be willing to make sacrifices and plan things together.

Yui Shun and Evelyn Chow, married 40 years:
Pray together and draw strength from God. No matter how bad things are, the Lord is always there to help during very challenging times. Support each other and work together to find solutions and a way through the challenges, with patience, understanding and a calm mind. Look at things differently. Perhaps a lesson can be learned from the present trials and circumstances. See the good things that are happening, be grateful for them and keep moving forward.

Chuck and Marie Luttrell, married 50 years:
In this time of vast societal difficulty, when couples and families are forced to have so much time together, we can take that time as gift. Pressures have shifted in the way we live, and being able to get to know our spouses in that different light, having more time with our kids, and re-learning the skills of the home are things to be grateful for. We can always imitate the innovative ways people help one another. Dr. Bonnie Henry has a great message for all of us: “Stay calm. Stay safe. And be kind.”

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