This year the theme for the Catholic Independent Schools of the Vancouver Archdiocese is “What do you want of me, Lord?” For our staff retreat, we contemplated this theme and reflected on the Annunciation.

We know the story, so it was no surprise for us to recall that Mary was confused by the physical logistics of having a child without marital relations. We know that the angel proclaimed, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.” (Luke 1:35) We also know that Mary accepted this news, not with a reluctant “Okay” but with the profoundly surrendering statement, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

Although the story is familiar, I am always in awe of Mary. For our retreat, we were asked to ponder the second part of verse 38: “Then the angel departed from her.” (Luke 1:38) I read this statement with new eyes, having never really stopped to think about the fact that a young girl had just placed her full trust in God only to be left on her own.

Of course, Mary wasn’t actually alone. The Holy Spirit was with her, and the very body of Jesus was inside of her. No one was not holding her hand or standing beside her in a visible sense – even the angel disappeared – but Mary believed that God was with her and within her, and these were the tools she needed to answer God’s call and be the person he created her to be.

With this Gospel in mind, our principal invited us to reflect on how the Lord is calling each of us. He asked the question, “What is God calling you to do and be this year?” After praying and reflecting, I began to journal my thoughts and realized that in both my professional and personal life, God is simply calling me to be myself and to do so with holiness in mind.

To be my true self, I need to be in touch with my motives, trusting in God to lead me where he intends for me to go. I need to listen to his voice in quiet prayer, in people who cross my path, and in the “coincidences” and life events that are part of God’s plan. Then I need to take steps on my own, as Mary did, knowing and believing that God has given me the necessary tools to speak the truth and to face new challenges. The Holy Spirit came to me at confirmation and Jesus is with me always, especially after receiving the Eucharist.

To be myself and to also be holy means that I must speak the truth with respect and conviction, and face difficulties with patience and grace.  I cannot vent merely for instant and personal gratification. If I do need to let off steam or share concerns with another, I must be mindful of my word selection so that I do not condemn or tarnish the reputation of another. I must be conscious of my audience so that rumours and gossip are not spread on my account. Furthermore, when I falter I must ask for forgiveness.

Being holy also means that I must deliberately watch for miracles in all that I do, so that I may feel God’s presence. As C. S. Lewis stated, “Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.” I may sometimes feel that I am alone, yet God is always with me. He speaks to me – sometimes in a small voice - and I must listen.

Mary instantly understood that although the angel had departed, God filled her heart. God fills my heart as well, and he sends the miracles of people, music, sounds, nature, scents, colours, physical touch, and written and spoken words to remind me that he is there.

What does the Lord want of me this year, and always? He wants me to discover the person he created me to be.