Time to put away childish fears of confession

On Shrove Tuesday, I attended a parish mission talk given by Father Eugene O’Reilly, CSsR. Initially, it didn’t seem as though the mission would fit in with our family schedule. As it turned out, however, my daughter’s soccer practice was cancelled and I was able to attend the session on reconciliation.

The sacrament of reconciliation is a Catholic topic that I’ve had challenged in my presence; however, it seems as though it is challenged more often by fellow Catholics than by non-Catholics.

I cannot say that I always – or ever – have the right responses in these situations, nor can I claim to receive the sacrament as often as I should, generally receiving only during Advent and Lent. Obviously, the cancelled soccer practice was an example of God’s providence, as the mission talk provided with me with several answers and insights into this sacrament.

Father Eugene discussed the fact that we are running the risk of losing the sacrament of reconciliation altogether, due to fewer people celebrating it and passing the gifts of this tradition on to their children.

He suggested that a large reason for this may be negative confession experiences. He acknowledged that many may have experienced negativity at the hands of priest, while others may have been reprimanded, or instructed to keep lists of transgressions by parents or teachers. As a result, many adults still have a scared, childish view of reconciliation.

Jesus came to cast away sins and to bridge the gap between childhood fear of admitting one’s mistakes (getting into trouble) and our adult appreciation of the joyful process of getting something off one’s chest and reconciling (experiencing a father’s love).

Christ came to die on the cross for our sins, and symbolically, as Father Eugene reminded us, his repeated claims of “Your sins are forgiven” were the final nails in the Crucifixion. Jesus was killed for “claiming” (in the Jewish leaders’ minds) that he could forgive. Those condemning him were correct in recognizing that only God can forgive, but they failed to understand that in the act of forgiving, Jesus was proving his identity as God’s son.

I have heard many people use similar reasoning in their own lives, saying that they don’t need to confess sins to a priest when they can talk to Jesus directly in prayer. They, correctly, know that only God can forgive, but they fail to see the priest as God’s representative, in the same way the Jewish leaders failed to see Christ as God’s son.

Father Eugene reminded us of the importance of voicing our sins while remembering to see beyond the human priest. The priest does not claim to be God, but since Christ is not on earth in body, the priest sits in, as we confess our sins to Jesus. Yes, we can pray and privately confess our sins to Jesus multiple times each day, without going to confession; however, it’s only in confession that we can receive absolution for more serious sins from the priest, as Christ’s representative.

I feel that some Catholics have maybe forgotten (or perhaps were never taught) that absolution is required in order to receive other sacraments, such as the Eucharist. I have yet to figure out a diplomatic way to respond to challenges towards confession by reminding them of such truths. I worry that my responses may lead people back to those childhood memories of negativity, lists of sins, and feelings of condemnation, rather than encouraging them to return, as the Prodigal Son did, to the full joy of God’s warm reception and to the peace of absolution.

Furthermore, without revealing my own personal transgressions or sounding nosy about other people’s, I find it hard to explain that through my conversations with the priest and in fulfilling my penance, the sacrament of reconciliation has led me to a greater understanding of God’s role in my life and how to grow closer to him and to those who walk this earthly path with me.

I cannot make someone love the sacrament of reconciliation, but I can explain my reasoning for going. I can model its importance so that my children will value it. I don’t have the answers, but I can pray for a world in which people learn to forgive by asking for forgiveness themselves.