ABBOTSFORD—The church must be compassionate and grounded in biblical teaching when ministering to people struggling with pornography addiction, unwanted same-sex attraction, and other temptations, according to Journey Canada’s Mardi Dolfo-Smith.

“We’re walking with people whose vision of sexuality has been distorted by the world, by their own brokenness, by sin that was done against them, or by sin they committed,” said Dolfo-Smith, a discipleship pastor for North Shore Alliance Church.

“We want to encourage you as pastors and leaders not to change the (biblical) vision for sexuality, because the problem is not the vision. The problem is the human experience.”

She told 35 pastors and ministry leaders gathered for a Journey Canada seminar Sept. 26 that shaming people who face sexual temptation is an unhealthy reaction, but so is rejecting biblical teaching on human sexuality. The church is in a “crisis point” right now that cannot be solved by remaining agnostic about the biblical views of homosexuality or pre-marital sex.

Dolfo-Smith said some Christians, such as Justin Lee, the author of Torn: Rescuing the Gospel From the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate, have unfortunately taken this “middle ground approach,” which believes: “We’re the church. We should be known for love, so let’s get along and say we don’t really know what the Bible says,” she said.

“We do need to love each other and honour other people who have different positions than us,” but not at the expense of leaving Scripture behind, said Dolfo-Smith.

“This is one of the most popular positions in Canada, in the church: not to be affirming, not to be traditional, but to just say: ‘I don’t know.’ It’s not a very helpful position for people who are struggling with sexual brokenness.”

This is one of the most popular positions in Canada, in the church: not to be affirming, not to be traditional, but to just say: ‘I don’t know.’ It’s not a very helpful position for people who are struggling with sexual brokenness.
Mardi Dolfo-Smith

When people struggling with sexual sin come to a church for help, they are looking to understand ethics, she told the pastors and ministry leaders gathered at Heritage Alliance Church in Abbotsford. “Create that vision for sexuality that is life-giving.”

She added that like Jesus, Christian pastors and ministry leaders must be comfortable with visiting prostitutes and sinners because they have their own desires in check.

“Being a safe person, having managed our own temptations, and captivated with God’s vision for sexuality makes us safe people. It makes us able to come alongside others.”

The church leaders also heard testimonies from those who have sought healing and found it through Journey Canada, a ministry to people struggling with sexual, relational, or identity issues.

“In high school I discovered three things,” said a young man who The B.C. Catholic agreed to keep anonymous. “I discovered I was attracted to other guys sexually, I discovered Internet pornography, and I discovered more of God. There was a lot of tension in these things.” 

He felt he had two options. “What I heard from the world was that I had to be gay or be miserable.” When, not willing to abandon his faith, he turned to the church, he heard silence or condemnation.

What a person with same-sex attraction needs are the same things that we all need to persevere and follow Jesus. 
Scott Neufeld

“As much as I knew that God was calling me to surrender my desires to him, my pornography addiction was growing worse and my patience to experience that breakthrough deliverance was wearing thin. I remained isolated. I was trying to find healing on my own,” he said.

He would go to a small, secluded chapel in Fort Langley to pray when he felt particularly defeated. Six years ago, he went to the chapel for the last time.

“After a life of following Jesus, attending church every Sunday, and a decade of trying to break free from the grip of pornography addiction, I finally gave up the fight. I was tired of falling short of God’s standard again and again. In this chapel, I decided to embrace the gay identity,” he said.

“I didn’t believe that I could follow Jesus and be gay and be true to the belief system of both.”

Instantly, there was a reaction. He heard a man praying outside the door in Chinese, and though he couldn’t understand the words, and didn’t know the man, the prayer sounded mournful and intercessory.

“The atmosphere in the chapel suddenly flipped 180 degrees and I became aware of the spiritual battle that was going on around me. It was as if the presence of God rushed in and pushed all the darkness out. I saw the severity of what I had just decided to do and I felt the Father’s love for me, because he fought for me literally the moment I stopped fighting for myself.”

The young man changed his mind. He saw a counselor, attended a Journey course, and confessed his struggles to his church community. “My sexuality is no longer the focus of my life. It’s no longer the pivot on which my life turns.”

Scott Neufeld, Journey Canada’s Fraser Valley coordinator, said the organization exists to help people troubled with sexuality, relationships, or their identity find healing in the Gospel.

“We believe Jesus is the only one capable of true and effectual healing for the individual as well as the church at large,” said Neufeld.

Scott Neufeld, Fraser Valley area coordinator of Journey Canada, addresses 35 pastors and ministry leaders. (Agnieszka Krawczynski / The B.C. Catholic)

Those who struggle with issues such as same-sex attraction need prayer, an experience of Jesus’  love, time, good models of vulnerability, discipleship, community, boundaries, and a spirit of no compromise.

“These eight points are universal principles,” he said. “What a person with same-sex attraction needs are the same things that we all need to persevere and follow Jesus.”

Journey Canada, a non-denominational organization which has the support of the Archdiocese of Vancouver, runs courses for teens, adults, and pastors at various locations in the Lower Mainland throughout the year.