Wash day at the Carmel convent. Therese is the second from the left. Her sister, Celine is next to her on the right. (Society of the Little Flower)
St. Therese of Lisieux practised charity with self-denial toward a nun whom she disliked.
She described: “A holy nun of our community annoyed me in all that she did; the devil must have had something to do with it, and he it was undoubtedly who made me see in her so many disagreeable points. I did not want to yield to my natural antipathy, for I remembered that charity ought to betray itself in deeds, and not exist merely in the feelings, so I set myself to do for this sister all I should do for the one I loved most. Every time I met her I prayed for her and offered to God her virtues and merits. I felt that this was very pleasing to Our Lord, for there is no artist who is not gratified when his works are praised, and the Divine Artist of souls is pleased when we do not stop at the exterior, but, penetrating to the inner sanctuary he has chosen, admire its beauty.
“I did not rest satisfied with praying for this sister, who gave me such occasions for self-mastery, I tried to render her as many services as I could, and when tempted to answer her sharply, I made haste to smile and change the subject, for the Imitation says: ‘It is more profitable to leave everyone to his way of thinking than to give way to contentious discourses.’ And sometimes when the temptation was very severe, I would run like a deserter from the battlefield if I could do so without letting the sister guess my inward struggle.
“One day she said to me with a beaming face: ‘My dear Sister Therese, tell me what attraction you find in me, for whenever we meet, you greet me with such a sweet smile.’ Ah! What attracted me was Jesus hidden in the depths of her soul a – Jesus who make sweet even that which is most bitter.”
Sometimes Therese had to take flight in order to avoid committing fault against charity. One morning, it was hher duty as sacristan to put back the keys of the Communion-grating. This work allowed her to see a superior who had been ill with bronchitis for several days. One of the sister feared Therese should awake the superior and tried to take the keys from her. Therese told the sister as politely as she could that she was also quite anxious that there should be no noise, and added that it was her right to return them.
After they entered into the room, the noise did awaken the superior. All the blame fell upon Therese; the sister began a long discourse, of which the point was: Sister Therese made all the noise.
Therese was burning to defend herself, but she thought that if she began to justify herself she would certainly lose her peace of mind. In order not to commit fault against charity, Therese hurried away. However, her heart beat so violently that she could not go far, and was obliged to sit down on the stairs to enjoy in quiet the fruit of her victory.
Therese saw herself as a little brush that Jesus, the Divine Artist, used to paint his likeness in the souls that the Prioress had confided to her care. Therese distrusted herself and relied on God in carrying out the work of formation of junior nuns.
In her daily interactions with fellow nuns, Therese strove to practice modifications. She avoided seeking consolation in purely natural affection and avoid asking questions which satisfy curiosity.
Some junior nuns found Therese severe, but in fact, she was correcting their imperfections and faults out of pure love for them. She saw it as her duty to lead them to Christ.
小德蘭愛同門修女
小德蘭用自我棄絕方法去遜守愛德。她述說：「有位神聖修女的行為，常使我反感；毫無疑問，肯定是魔鬼使我只著眼於對她不認同的觀點。我不想跌入自然直覺的厭惡，因為我記得，愛德應該以行為顯示出來，而不單純靠直覺觀感。所以，我把這位修女當作我最喜愛的人看待。每次我遇到她的時候，總會為她祈禱，把她的優點和善德奉獻給天主。我認我這樣做必定會使天主高興，因為藝術家會因為自己的作品被欣賞而感到快慰。同樣，創造靈魂神聖的藝術家，會欣然看到我們不停留在外觀，而是更深入地去喜愛祂創造聖所的美麗。」
「我不止為這修女祈禱 ── 雖然她給了我機會抑制自我，反而，當我想厲聲相向時，我設法為她服務，用微笑作反應，轉換話題。《師主篇》說：『讓對方堅持他的觀點，總比提出爭論來得更裨益。』有時誘惑來勢凶凶，我要趕快逃竄，免修女看出我內心的掙扎。」
「有一天，那位修女笑臉迎來，問道：『德蘭修女，你每次見到我時，必定給我你甜美的笑容。可以告訴我我有什麼吸引你嗎？』噢！吸引我的是隱藏在她靈魂深處的耶穌，祂能將最苦的化為甘飴。」
竄跑是小德蘭用來避免自己違犯愛德。一個早上，小德蘭把聖體欄的閘柵鎖好。這工作讓她有機會見到一位患氣管炎已病了好幾天的長上修女。有修女怕弄醒長上，有意從小德蘭拿去鑰匙。小德蘭好言解釋交回鑰匙是她本人的責任，並且說明她也會小心不作聲。不過，她們進門後，聲音卻把病床上的修女弄醒。同行的修女馬上指責小德蘭，指她造出一切的響聲。小德蘭真想為自己辯護，但知道若執意要把事情弄清楚，會令自己失去內心平安。為了不至會做出損害愛德的行為，小德蘭匆忙離開。然而，她的心跳得那麼厲害，以至她不能走得太遠，她需要坐在梯間，來品嚐她勝利的美果。
小德蘭視自己為小畫筆，讓神聖的藝術家-----耶穌-----把祂自己的肖像，描繪在她的初學生靈魂裡；她不信靠自己，而依賴天主幫助她去塑造這些長上交託給她的小修女們。
日常與同門修女的交往中，小德蘭設法從中改進自己，避免尋求感性上的安慰，亦不為好奇而咄咄追問。
初學生覺得小德蘭嚴厲，實際出於愛她們而要她們改正她們的錯誤 ── 因為她自知有責任把她們領給基督。