A Christmas disappointment accomplished for young Therese in an instant what she had been unable to achieve in 10 years of personal struggle. (Wikimedia Commons photo)
The young Therese of Lisieux was a very sensitive girl, and that had become an obstacle to her growing in virtue. However, the Infant Jesus granted her a special grace on Christmas Day 1886
That Christmas, after Midnight Mass, Therese overheard her father remark with impatience that he hoped this would be the last year for the custom of filling Therese’s shows with Christmas gifts. Normally Therese would have dissolved in tears, but that night she felt a new inner strength, and in order to make her father happy she behaved as if the Christmas custom gave her a great deal of joy. Therese said, “The work I had been unable to do in 10 years was done by Jesus in one instant.” She gained in a moment and for good a self-mastery she seemed to have lost at the death of her mother when she was four.
Therese saw the Christmas Night of 1886 as her “conversion.” Soon after it, Therese heard much talk of a notorious criminal, Pranzini, who was sentenced to death for murders. Pranzini was quite impenitent, and everyone feared he would be eternally lost.
Therese did her best to pray for the conversion of Pranzini. She prayed: “My God, I am quite sure that thou wilt pardon this unhappy Pranzini. I should still think so if he did not confess his sins or give any sign of sorrow, because I have such confidence in thy unbounded mercy; but this is my first sinner, and therefore I beg for just one sign of repentance to reassure me.”
The day after the execution of Pranzini, Therese opened the newspaper. Pranzini showed signs of repentance at the last moment when he seized the crucifix a priest was offering to him and kissed Our Lord’s sacred wounds three times. After that, the desire for the salvation of souls increased in the heart of Therese day by day.
Therese's love for Our Lord grew. She loved to read the spiritual classic Imitation of Christ, by Thomas à Kempis. She wrote, “It was the only book which did me good, for I had not yet found the treasures hidden in the Holy Gospels. I always had it with me, to the amusement of my people at home. My aunt used often to open it, and make me repeat by heart the first chapter she chanced to light upon.”
Her sister Celine had become the most intimate sharer of Therese’s thoughts, especially since her “conversion” at Christmas. Therese also grew in the area of self-sacrifice, which seemed to come more easily and without hesitation.
Therese loved to receive Holy Communion frequently. She pointed out that Jesus “does not come down from heaven each day in order to remain in a golden ciborium, but to find another heaven – the heaven of our souls in which he takes such delight.” Therese's confessor allowed her to go to Holy Communion several times a week. This permission filled her heart with joy.
Therese desired to enter the Carmel. She chose the contemplative life because of the missionary role of prayer – particularly prayer for priests which the Lisieux Carmelites made their special work.
Therese first shared her desire with Celine. And on Pentecost 1887 she told her father of her decision to enter the Carmel. Both father and daughter wept. Therese recalled: “He spoke to me as saints speak, and showed me some flowers growing in the low stone wall. Picking one of them, he gave it to me, and explained the loving care with which God had made it spring up and grow till now.” Little Therese was like a little flower reserved for God. Her father gave her permission to enter religious life.
小德蘭決定進修會
年幼時的小德蘭，是一名情緒非常過敏的小女孩，這也是她靈修的一大障礙。不過，1866年的聖誕日，小耶穌卻賞給了她特別的聖寵。
該聖誕日的子夜彌撒後，小德蘭聽得父親對每年的聖誕，都要把她的聖誕襪子堆滿禮物的習慣，感到不耐煩。一般來說，小德蘭早已因此而哭泣；這次，她卻有一股新的內在力量，使她為了讓父親快樂，故意對聖誕禮物的習慣顯得愉快。她說：「十年我不能做到的事情，耶穌僅需那一刻，幫我做到了。」自她四歲時母親死後，她似乎失去的自控能力，竟在那煞間完全恢復過來。小德蘭視1866年的聖誕，是她的「皈依日」。
不久，小德蘭聽得一個被判死刑、惡名昭著的謀殺犯柏齊尼，他十分固執，在獄中堅持不肯悔改，所有人都認為他會被天主處以永罰。小德蘭為柏齊尼的皈依，努力祈禱：「吾主，我深信祢會饒恕這位不快樂的柏齊尼。縱然他未告明他的罪或顯示懊悔的跡象，我仍深信，因為我對祢的無窮慈悲充滿信心；但是他是我的第一個罪人，我求祢一個悔改的跡象來肯定我。」
柏齊尼受刑的次日，小德蘭打開報章，看到在獄中有關他悔罪的報導：受刑前的最後一刻，柏齊尼手執神父遞給他的苦像，親吻了吾主聖傷三次。自始，小德蘭渴望救靈的心，與日俱增，更形熱切。
小德蘭愛主之心，亦隨著日子遞增，她喜愛閱讀「師主篇」這本經典的靈修書籍。她寫道：「我還未尋到福音蘊藏的至寶，但這書唯一裨益了我的靈修。我常把它帶著，亦成了家中的樂事。舅母常把這書打開，讓我以心重所打開到章節。」
席琳姊姊常是小德蘭分享靈益的密侶，特別自她「皈依日」往後的日子。小德蘭漸漸頻密地自我犧牲和奉獻，對此感到不必猶疑，且習以為常。
小德蘭喜勤領聖體。她指出：「耶穌每天從天降下，目的不是要停留在那名貴的聖爵內，而是要尋找另一處能安居的天堂 ── 祂喜愛的人靈！」告解神師允許小德蘭每星期多次領聖體，使她很高興。
小德蘭有意進加爾默羅會，她喜愛那默觀的生活因為祈禱對傳教的大貢獻；而且常為司鐸們祈禱，是里修加爾默羅修院的特別工作。
小德蘭先告訴席琳姊姊她入修院的心願；1887年的五旬節，也向父親表白；兩父女相對哭了。小德蘭回憶說：「父親猶如一位聖人地講話；他給我指出長在石牆的–些花，並摘下其中一朵花給我，解釋天主對花朵悉心照顧，讓它成長到現在。」小德蘭就如獻給天主的小花。父親允許了她修道。