Every time we help carry the weight of suffering for another human being, we show our children this world is not just about us, writes Claire Lazzuri. (Roman Carey/Pexels)
“As they led him away,
they took hold of a certain Simon, a Cyrenian, who was coming in from the
country; and after laying the cross on him, they made him carry it behind
Jesus” Lk 23:26.
When in your life have you been a Simon of Cyrene to someone? On Palm Sunday we will hear the account of the Passion of our Lord from the Gospel of Luke. Why are we told about this man who is seemingly forced to help Jesus carry his cross? We know almost nothing about him except that he is drawn into Jesus’ suffering in an intimate way. We can be sure that if this detail made into the Gospels and is memorialized as the Fifth Station of the Cross, we know it’s there for a good reason.
The Gospel of Mark tells us Simon was “the father of Alexander and Rufus.” So, we know he was a father. Maybe he looked upon the bloodied, battered body of Jesus and saw his own sons. We don’t even know if he was a follower of Jesus. We do know Simon didn’t choose to help Jesus in his time of suffering, but the experience of helping God incarnate carry his cross undoubtedly changed his life.
Children can relate well to this scene of Jesus and Simon. At face value it’s a simple of case of someone in distress needing help. But there’s also a lesson in the Fifth Station of the Cross about suffering and the call we all share to help others carry their crosses.
Every time we help carry the weight of suffering for another human being, we show our children this world is not just about us. While watching someone suffer can be difficult it can also be a great gift, leading to growth and maturation, which, in turn, can help us make sense of suffering.
I’ve known a lot of parents over the years who shield their children from suffering. They refuse to expose their kids to people who are in pain or nearing death or even take them to funerals. Children who are never allowed to experience another’s suffering will miss out on lessons of compassion and witnessing the value that suffering can have.
Young children don’t need to be privy to the disturbing details involved in some suffering (and probably not a good idea to have the 5-year-old watch Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ), but there is no getting around the fact that suffering and death are part of life and, more importantly, that suffering has a purpose.
Children can understand from an early age that they have a role to play in helping alleviate another’s suffering, whether it’s through intercessory prayer, physical care, visits, cards, or taking care of chores for someone who can no longer complete those tasks on their own.
When we deprive children of witnessing the process of illness and death, we also deprive them of getting closer to Christ in his suffering. People who are terminally ill, especially if they are people of faith, often have great wisdom to share and can mirror Christ for us.
Our family learned a powerful example of this from our friend Jim not long ago. We didn’t know it was the last time we would see Jim when we left his house in July of 2017, but I think he knew. That’s probably why he called each of our kids in from outside, even though we were trying to keep them at arm’s length from Jim because of his cancer-compromised immune system.
I will never forget what he said to our kids that day. I really hope they never forget it. His words were simple, clear, almost urgent, and oh, so wise. His was the kind of wisdom that comes from two years of heartbreaking suffering.
Jim told our six children, one of whom was his beloved goddaughter, that the most important thing they could do in life is to nurture their faith every day. He said they needed to always put in the effort to pray, keeping up their end of the conversation with God.
Why? Because, he said, you never know when you might find yourself in a situation like him – body beaten by cancer, looking at the possibility of saying goodbye to his wife and five young children much too soon, even finding it hard to pray on the most difficult days.
But, he told us, it was only faith that has enabled him to make sense of his journey. He truly desired heaven and urged our kids to do the same. He didn’t want to die at 42, but he had a clear picture of where he was headed.
In the three days we were able to spend with him during his last summer, Jim allowed my husband to be his Simon of Cyrene. We happened to arrive at the same time Jim started losing the use of his legs, as tumors pressed on his spine. I watched as Jim, determined to get up and down the stairs on his own steam, allowed my husband to hold him upright and catch him when he stumbled. It was like watching the Way of the Cross. It was Jim’s way of the cross and it had such a beautiful purpose, not just for him, but for my husband. To allow a friend, family member, or even a stranger, to help carry your cross, is an act of love and courage.
Who knows what quiet words of wisdom Jesus may have imparted to Simon? We know Jesus’ actions and redemptive suffering really said it all. The key for us as we meditate on Christ’s passion in these coming weeks is to recognize that we are all called to be Simon of Cyrene for each other and, in doing so, for Jesus Christ.
Think about the people God has placed in your life. Do you know someone who is bearing a heavy cross? Maybe you are the one who is bearing the cross and you need to pray for the grace of allowing someone to be your Simon. Are you teaching your children the value of crosses, or are you shielding them from the crosses in their lives and in others’ lives?
As we get closer to Holy Week, let’s not shy away from the cross of Jesus, or any of the crosses we see around us.
Lazzuri writes from her home in Nova Scotia, where she lives with her husband and six children.