A fat squirrel steals fruit from the children's birdy Christmas tree. (Colleen Roy / The B.C. Catholic)
The fattest, sleekest squirrels in all of Mission live in my yard. We make it too easy for them, really, with all of our fruit and nut trees, and the strawberries I attempt to grow in the summer.
Then, I have bird lovers in the house. Madalen and Isaac just made fruit and nut decorations for a “bird’s Christmas tree” outside our front window. Every single birdy Christmas present was eyed-up and stolen within 24 hours by the bushy-tailed rodent.
The best reason for the fatness of our squirrels is because we have generous chickens. Our chickens, of course, have a feeder full of chicken food. But they have no interest whatsoever in chicken food. These three chickens squawk outside the sliding glass door every morning at 6:45 until I kick Scott and he throws bread crusts at them.
Yes, we have broken every chicken-parenting rule, and now they demand their morning treat. They then wander about our yard eating whatever it is they eat and in their generosity leave the food they don’t want (the food we pay for) for the squirrels. Christmas benevolence at its best.
It’s funny how hard it is to instill true generosity into ourselves, let alone our children. Obviously, the chickens aren’t capable of kindness, but their actions help us to explain the idea of anti-generosity to our kids. Sometimes, we associate generosity with giving. There are times when this might be a secondary truth, but I think a better definition of generosity is sacrifice. The chickens are not generous, because they have no desire to eat their over-priced chicken food. They are giving their leftovers, their unwanted scraps. It costs them nothing to “share” with the squirrels. They are, in fact, indifferent to what they are giving, and therefore, the opposite of generous.
Have you ever encouraged a child to clean out their toy bins so they can donate some to the thrift store? I have. It’s something people do around Christmas. It’s good for de-cluttering, but probably, in most cases, it actually isn’t teaching them anything about generosity. If your kids are like mine, they will keep the items they like and still play with, and toss over the stuff they don’t. They are indifferent, it costs them nothing. It isn’t generosity, it’s housekeeping.
Right after the fun of Black Friday, we have Cyber Monday. I’m pretty sure Gluttony Tuesday and Avarice Wednesday follow. We are overloaded with stuff thrown in our faces at every turn. I had no idea what Black Friday was until a year or two ago. My children, on the other hand, asked me non-stop to check out the sale prices for different toys they liked throughout the entire day. The idea that Advent, a time of waiting and sacrifice, was around the corner never entered their minds. Where does that vice come from?
Generosity takes thought and prayer. God asks us to give like he gave – totally and unconditionally. Our children aren’t always prepared to do this; they aren’t spiritually mature enough yet. Maybe they aren’t always seeing a witness of real, sacrificial generosity around them.
But there are things that Catholic parents should be doing to impart this difficult virtue. We may think that Christmas is the opportune time, but the devil works overtime to counteract that instinct: Christmas lists, imposter "Advent" calendars that give out toys as a headway into getting more toys, new collectibles merchandise at every corner of every store.
Parents are pitted against a battlefield of vice, but there are things we can try, and with God’s grace our children can grow in holiness and selflessness without losing joy.
— As contradicting as it sounds, go Christmas shopping! Take a child out with you to the mall. I love Christmas shopping, and kids should enjoy the sparkles and lights, and the idea of thinking of others. Before heading out, the child should know that they are going with the specific purpose of helping you find a perfect present for someone else.
— Encourage your children to have a Christmas list (of gifts they would like to buy for others). Help them think of gifts their siblings or friends would really like, something special, even if it only costs a dollar. Then help them find a way to use their own money.
— Put out a jar near your Advent wreath. As a family, decide on some goal to help some family or charity. Then without pressure, the kids can see you put in a few dollars here and there. They will soon follow suit. This year we’re doing this for Chalice and MaterCare (a favourite of mine). A few of my kids have sold toys on on-line bidding sites and then put the money in the jar. It’s not quite so easy to do when those coins are jingling in their hands, but they will be given the grace of joy when they succeed!
— Talk about authentic generosity with your kids. Get them to think about the things they find it hard to give or share: their time, their toys, their money, their space, their manners, their patience. Encourage them to try in some small way to be generous with that thing, just for today.
— Perhaps take part in some type of mission this Advent. Help at a food bank, or bring coffee and a pair of gloves to that homeless guy down the road with his pop bottles and shopping carts.
And then, give a witness of the complementing virtue of gratitude. Enjoy the beauty and plenty of Christmas as every good Catholic should! Rejoice and be glad, celebrate the birth of our Saviour, and give thanks to God for all that he’s blessed you with.
Happy third week of Advent!