Kansas City Royal Mike Sweeney was once forced to apologize to a young fan who told him she was let down by his bad behaviour on the ball field. (Wikimedia Commons photo)
When I am doing prayers of thanksgiving one of the first things that comes to my mind is to give thanks for God’s infinite mercy. Forgiveness and mercy are such a significant theme in our Catholic faith and Mass.
In the Our Father we say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” The Apostles Creed states “I believe in the forgiveness of sins.” The Confiteor is all about asking for forgiveness.
Jesus teaches us that we must forgive if we wish to be forgiven. This message of forgiveness both given and received, like all the values of our faith, must be brought into our sports life.
There are many different roles we play in the sports world offering us opportunities to forgive. These include being the athlete, the parent of an athlete, and as a fan.
Athletes have to first learn to forgive themselves for poor performances. This is a vital part of remaining positive and confident in order to continue developing and ultimately performing at a higher level.
Forgiveness of teammates who may have cost them the game is also important in building strong “family” type bonds within a group.
Do athletes ever need to forgive opponents, athletes vying with them for a victory? Absolutely yes. Perhaps the athlete cheated you or trashed talked in an unacceptable manner. Maybe they injured you or arrogantly gloated after defeating you. Forgiving another during the heat of battle is difficult as emotions are running high but this is what the Lord asks of us.
In my last column I mentioned former NHL referee Kerry Fraser, a Catholic, who related a story of forgiveness on ice. He was officiating a game in New York between the Rangers and the St. Louis Blues when Blues tough guy Tyson Nash had a run in with Ranger Theoren Fleury.
After the skirmish Fleury game up to Fraser in tears, saying Nash had been mocking him about his past drug-related problems, for which Fleury had undergone therapy.
At the end of the period Fraser spoke to Blues coach Joel Quenville and told him that Nash should apologize. “When Tyson came out and came to us, his lip was actually quivering. You could tell he was deeply affected and ashamed. He gave a tremendous apology and wished Theoren the best in everything he had ahead of him. The two shook hands.”
As fans we witness the behaviour of our favourite athletes who sometimes disappoint us, be it on or off the field. We don’t always get a chance to confront them on it directly as happened in the following case.
Mike Sweeney was captain of the Major League Baseball’s Kansas City Royals. A perennial all-star and devout Catholic, Sweeney was considered one of the greatest gentlemen and an exemplary example for young people in the sport until the one time he let his guard down.
During a 2001 game against the Detroit Tigers Sweeney became enraged at the verbal abuse that Tiger pitcher Jeff Weaver was directing at him. He charged the mound and fought Weaver and received a suspension from the league.
During an off-season Catholic church camp in which Sweeney was acting as a youth leader a young girl came up to him crying, telling him that he was her hero and when she saw him fight she was so hurt and let down. He apologized and told her he regretted it and asked her if she would forgive him. She did forgive.
When participating in sports we must not see the opposition as enemies or evil. They are simply, like us, trying their best to reach a mutual goal.
If ever they act badly, try not to assess intent to their actions as we do not know their background and what pressures they are under that caused this behaviour.
Perhaps we can learn to feel badly that they have been exposed to an environment that has brought them to a point that we’ve been blessed not to have to experience. Simply put, forgive.
As parents, try after games to discourage your kids from speaking critically about the officials or opponents, especially when the comments become personal. This is a great opportunity to develop the habit of forgiving in children.
Perhaps they can be encouraged to talk to the other person when possible. Jesus even forgave those who hated him while on the cross. He asks that we do the same on the competitive field, amid mean words and bad line calls.
Try to learn to say “forgive them Lord for they know not what they do.”