Catholics forgetting the importance of the funeral Mass

When I read the obituaries in the daily newspaper, four of the saddest words I often see are, “No service by request.”

They sadden me because a funeral service is a very important and powerfully healing recognition of affection and esteem, honour, and farewell that we offer at the time of death. It is a public recognition that a life is no more, that a man or woman has left this world, leaving behind friends and family and requiring us all to stop and reflect on our deepest values and highest truths.

The recent civic funeral of Abbotsford Constable John Davidson, though not a religious ceremony, stirred the hearts of tens of thousands with its profound solemnity, deep feelings, tributes, and formal honours.

For Catholics, a funeral Mass is the most beautiful expression of faith and the truest statement of God’s love for one of his children. We offer the Mass because it is the most perfect prayer – the renewal of Christ’s offering of himself to the Father for the salvation of all men and women. In that moment, we offer it for this person – this man, this woman – who has left this world in the hope, great or small, of everlasting happiness.

Family, friends, and the Church (through the priest) lift up the person’s entire life to God, asking him to have mercy, to heal, to strengthen, to purify, and to reward the one whom we’ve loved. For a last time, this person’s body is brought before the altar, veiled in a pall of snowy whiteness, while we honour the remains of one whose voice and laughter have gone still.

In a safe and sacred place, unlike any other funeral hall or parlour, we can say goodbye, thank you, forgive me, and perhaps, “I forgive you.” Nothing can replace what a funeral Mass offers the dead, or the living.

More often than ever before, practising Catholics are not having funeral Masses.

More often than ever before, practising Catholics are not having funeral Masses. This is a great loss and mistake.

In some instances, it is because the family are no longer practising the faith and do not understand why they should “sit through” something they do not understand or value. Sometimes people are afraid that a funeral will be too sad, as if unexpressed grief were somehow healthier. In some cases, final wishes may have been left unclear or unexpressed. This is tragic.

The Church wants to reach out to all her children, and practising Catholics should understand their funeral Mass is a final witness to their own faith, the final seal on their life and dying, and perhaps an opportunity of grace and healing for family members.

“Celebrations of Life” are not enough; they may come later, but they are no substitute. Telling funny stories is no substitute for doing the right thing.

We often say funerals are for the living, but that is not quite true either. Our funeral Mass is offered for the repose (rest) and healing of the person who has died. It is “our duty and our salvation,” as the eucharistic prayer says. But this renewal of Christ’s sacrifice does have a powerful effect on the living.

Our Lord said, “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Mourning is the public expression of grief. That is why we need a funeral Mass. Many people have come back to the faith because of a funeral. Others have converted because of one. It is there that we hear the words: “May the angels lead you into paradise; may the martyrs come to welcome you and take you to the holy city, the new and eternal Jerusalem.”

Those are the words we should want to hear for ourselves, and desire that our families may hear them on our behalf.