SURREY—A young girl from Salmon Arm has become a cheerleader for women in labour after facing motherhood at age 16.

Darby Ramsay, 19, is a doula, a woman who gives emotional and physical support to women before, during, and just after they have a baby.

“(Giving) birth is a significant event and it leaves a mark on women for the rest of their lives,” she said.

Ramsay is also a bold speaker for the pro-life movement. Her testimony, part of LifeCanada’s You’ll Never Regret Loving This Much campaign, was featured at a series of events at university campuses March 17-19.

“I knew (abortion) was bad, but I also didn’t know how I was going to cope,” Ramsay said at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey March 19.

She was a high school student dating a boy named Morgan when she found out she was pregnant.

“I was just immediately going to get an abortion. I thought, ‘I have to stop this, I can’t go on.’ That was my immediate fight or flight (reaction): flight, escape.”

Ultrasound

She was afraid of telling her Catholic family. “It’s not exactly the news they want to hear from their 16-year-old daughter.” Her boyfriend also urged her to get an abortion, saying they were too young to be parents.

The clinic nearest her Salmon Arm neighbourhood would only perform the procedure up to 12 weeks and required a doctor’s referral. Ramsay sought one out and he scheduled her ultrasound appointment.

She didn’t have a driver’s licence or a cellphone. The day of her ultrasound, Ramsay skipped a chemistry class, which her father taught, and asked a friend for a ride.

The image revealed she was exactly 12 weeks pregnant. “I knew that I was going to be having the baby,” she said. “I didn’t know what my life was going to look like from this point on, but I knew that this was happening.”

Heartbeat starts

She spent the Easter long weekend with family in Williams Lake. While visiting an aunt, she glimpsed a poster that affirmed her decision.

“On her wall, there’s a little piece of paper that says heartbeat starts at 21 days, brainwaves start at 45 days, and sex is decided at conception,” she said. “I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I am 12 weeks pregnant. My baby is really functioning like a little baby.'”

She told her parents the following Tuesday, having to explain why a doctor had phoned her home while she was in school.

When Ramsay phoned back, she found out she had missed an abortion appointment she didn’t know about; a doctor had been waiting upstairs for her on the day of the ultrasound.

“It was so scary because I was so close, but I had no idea,” she said.

Raising Noah

Her son Noah is now 2 and a half years old. He likes to play with cars and trains, but his favourite thing to do is play hockey, like his dad.

“He came, and then we looked at him and we were thinking to ourselves: what were we worrying about? He’s so perfect.”

Ramsay said her parents, friends, and boyfriend’s parents were great supporters for her as she gave birth to and raised Noah. She and Morgan are back together.

“We do plan on getting married one day and having more kids and babies, and both of us are so thankful for Noah and how much he has changed our lives for the better,” she said.

The pro-life booth at Kwantlen gained the attention of a campus feminist group, Women Organizing Opportunities for Women, which set up its own booth across the courtyard.

“We’re just promoting pro-choice information for students so they know what pro-choice is about and that they have support on campus,” said member Kari Michaels.

The group handed out free pins and condoms near a sign saying, “You’ll never regret having a choice.” There was minimal interaction between the student groups.

Supporting women

Ramsay also spoke at the University of the Fraser Valley and Columbia Bible College March 18, and a video of her story was played at Simon Fraser University March 17.

“That’s the whole thing we were doing: showing there is support for women,” said Anastasia Pearse, organizer and western coordinator of National Campus Life Coalition.

“They don’t have to choose between being a student and being a parent.”

At SFU, UFV, and Kwantlen, a pro-life group ran a small outdoor booth from about 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Pearse said the team handed out 800 information cards to passing students and displayed a donation jar that raised $150 at SFU for women in crisis situations.

“I’m so thankful that I don’t have to live with the regret of choosing an abortion and wondering what my life would have been like. Now I know I made the best decision,” Ramsay said.

“Nobody can tell me that was a bad choice.”