His son showed him how to trust God and seek forgiveness through the sacrament of confession

The B.C. Catholic



A local artist said the confessional saved his marriage, his family, and his faith.

“I have been deeply wounded by sin, deeply wounded by my dysfunctional view of the world,” Stephen Unser said. “I used to believe the world’s point of view that I was alone, that I was an orphan, and everything was dependent on me if I was to succeed.”

“However, these past three years have been a remarkable journey of an authentic conversion of my heart and of my faith through Christ’s divine mercy and love.”

Unser, a father of two, faced the challenge of overcoming the sin of pornography. “For most of my life, I had dealt with an addiction to pornography,” admitted Unser. “This silent and secretive behaviour has caused so much pain and destruction for me, my wife, my family, and, most important, with my relationship with God.”

He noted his faith was only on the surface, as “I had been hurting my wife deeply, and I had failed to uphold our covenant that we made to God in our marriage. I failed to be the father that our daughter, Gabrielle, and our son, Sam, needed me to be. This is my past and it is something I am not proud of.”

Though Unser felt he had failed his family and his faith, an “intense experience in the confessional” and the love of his family brought him back.

Three years ago his son Sam was preparing for his first confession. The parents were asked to accompany their children to prepare for the sacrament, and Sam nervously asked to speak with his father.

“When was the last time you went to confession?” asked the boy.

Stephen felt his heart pound. “In that specific moment, I felt God’s loving presence, God’s deep desire to soften my hardened heart with His Love.”

“Here was my opportunity to speak the truth or continue to mislead our son with dishonesty.” Stephen admitted to his son he could no longer remember the last time he had gone to confession, and he was scared of going.

“It’s okay, Dad, God is waiting for you,” Sam reassured him. With his son’s encouragement, Stephen stepped into the confessional. The moment he stepped out, Sam yelled out, “Wow, Dad, you look so different!”

The rest of the event was a blur, and “All I remember after was Sam running to the confessional with a joyful and trusting heart,” admitted Stephen. “What an authentic gift of love our heavenly Father showered down on me and our family.”

“Stephen’s call to reconversion to our faith has shown our family the true face of love and mercy which is Jesus Himself,” his wife Margaret said. “Stephen has been and continues to be a pillar of strength for our family, giving witness by his own personal testimony of how to love more fully by walking hand-in-hand with Jesus.”

Father Justin Huang provided spiritual support to Stephen during his conversion, and noted many people underestimate the effect confession has on their spiritual lives.

“Confession helps us see that what we thought were little sins actually hurt God, others, and us a lot,” he wrote. “Experiencing God’s love: actually hearing the words, ‘I absolve you from your sins…. Your sins are forgiven, go in peace,’ is life-changing.”

“With so much support and spiritual guidance from Father Huang, I now know what spiritual tools I need to be able to have a genuine personal relationship with God,” Stephen added. “He nurtured me along to face these disorders faithfully, and break down those walls I’ve set around myself.”

Stephen now creates religious art as a method of living his faith once again. One of his latest works, several confessionals in St. Anthony of Padua Church, was installed and blessed last February.

“My artwork traditionally was just secular; I did it as a career to make ends meet,” said Stephen. “This is new, what I’m being called to by the Lord, as I’m being called to serve Him and elevate my faith to the Church.”

He encouraged fellow men to seek to improve themselves, no matter where they were in their lives. “I desire to be … a man who can live his faith with genuineness, a man who can be the husband that I am called to be, a man who can be a true father to his children, and most of all, live as God has truly called me to be.”

“I am a sinner who has been looked upon by the Face of Mercy.”