Americans who report a sense of belonging in their communities and day-to-day life has decreased by half since 1976, according to research from the University of Utah.
In a similar vein, the most highly connected person of today (complete with an Instagram and Facebook account) has one-third of the number of friends than that of her analogue counterpart in 1985.
Silicon Valley can make us feel busy and entertained, but it can’t make us feel like we belong. That is a heart job. Telling people that they are friends with 1,000 people doesn’t make it so.
God has created each of us in an entirely unique way. He communicates directly to our hearts in a language that is particular to us.
We are not a homogenous lump of humanity to be treated as a disease or as a problem to be solved. He has plans for our flourishing. He built each one of us for connection and intimacy, and we realize our full potential in the context of relationship. That is why social media will never enhance our humanity. It can support relationships (albeit also destroy them) but technology will never satisfy the deepest longing of a human heart.
In her book Count Me In,” Emily White writes about her journey back toward belonging and restored faith as part of an effort to round out and revive a society-wide lost sense of belonging.
She writes that happiness doesn’t interest her so much but, rather, that elusive sense of connection.
Happiness comes and goes but where there is connection, there is belonging, and where there is belonging, there is happiness.
George Bernard Shaw once wrote that “happiness and beauty are by-products.” Happiness will choose to set up camp with us if and when our heart needs are being met.
Harvard University political scientist Robert Putnam argues that the single best predictor of happiness is the depth and breadth of your connections; the more people you know, both socially and intimately, the more satisfied (happier) you’ll be.
Many of our grandparents met at the Legion dance or through an extensive network of friends. Today, fewer people belong to clubs or leagues that rally around a central cause.
Our faith gives us a built-in opportunity to experience belonging but so often it also misses the mark. So many people do not have a community with whom they can celebrate or from which to draw strength or support in tough times. We have forgotten the basic building blocks of happiness. So many of the things we think we want or need actually end up turning us in on ourselves. Entertainment’s attempts at giving us pleasure or a sense of intimacy leave us feeling disillusioned and lonely.
Not much has changed since Jesus came to earth and saw unmet need wherever he looked. In Matthew’s Gospel, we read that Jesus took note of the unrest he saw en masse: “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”
How true this rings even today. But the next part is perhaps the secret to achieving belonging: Jesus says, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest.” Lord, send workers into the harvest! Let my life be a sign of hope. Send those in our own homes and in our own families to cast out loneliness and depression by creating communities that follow the Shepherd wherever he goes.
In this way, help us to restore the world to Christ by casting out darkness and all that seeks to destroy our peace and our connection to God and to one another.
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