We often talk about Jesus as the bridegroom, the spouse of the Church. But what if we reflect for a few minutes on Jesus in another role: Jesus as a parent.
Jesus never had biological children, but in many ways he was a father figure and the best parent who ever lived. Through his words and actions, he taught others how to live with compassion, justice, reverence, and repentance. He poured out years of his life to teach, love, and forgive, whether or not the teachable moment ended with hugs all around.
He was a gentle parent to those with frail hearts, and stern with those who needed a talking to. He told stories, invited children onto his lap, and offered everyone the best shot at doing something good with their lives. He gave the best advice and gave it his all.
We all know what happened next. He was killed for it.
He was the best parent ever, and his children utterly rejected him for it.
In reflecting on this idea during the Easter season I’m struck by Jesus’ demonstration of how far the love of the best parents will go. We can provide the healthiest food, safest home, best education, choice opportunities – and we may be shunned in spite of it, or even because of it.
We may be rejected. We may be publicly disowned. Hopefully we won’t be murdered.
And yet, we can do it anyway. Like Jesus, we can take up our crosses and teach love, embody forgiveness, and offer our bodies, minds, hearts, and time. While aware of our abilities and brokenness, we can give our all to our children out of love.
If you have been a parent for any length of time, you are familiar with the inner voices that criticize you for things your children do or for bad things that happen to them. Oh, if only I had not let them watch so much TV, taught this or that habit at a younger age, given them more attention, or prevented them from seeing that acquaintance. If only I had tried harder.
To stay sane, we must often remind ourselves that children are unique human beings. While we can teach them and lead by example, we can’t make them sleep, eat, use the potty, stop throwing tantrums, share, apologize, forgive, stop gossiping, or go to church. We teach. They learn.
We do our best, anyway. We all probably have some sense, on particularly trying days, that our children will talk to their therapists about us someday.
Jesus knew everything that was coming, and did it anyway.
Let that thought rest in your heart for a moment, and allow the complexity, confusion, and heartbreak of certain parts of your story as a parent to fade into a blur. Jesus knew rejection, disrespect, and apathy too. He knew Judas would betray him, Peter would deny knowing him, and the crowds who heard him speaking in the streets would taunt him.
None of it changed his love.
I read recently that if you are a parent, you are already doing most of the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, some probably daily. You are feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, clothing the naked, sheltering the homeless, visiting the sick, comforting the afflicted, instructing the ignorant, admonishing sinners, bearing wrongs patiently, and forgiving offences.
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters, you did for me.”
With every picky eater, impatient toddler, bullied child, and headstrong teenager, parents have the opportunity to discover how to be more like Jesus: more patient, kind, forgiving, trusting, hoping, and persevering. We’re on the frontlines of love and mercy.
Because how our children respond to our best efforts is not the last word in the story.
In dying to ourselves with Jesus, we can become more like him.
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